


The Gambler

by JahStorybook



Category: Left 4 Dead (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, F/M, Gambler Nick, Hero bashing, Horror, M/M, Nick's Humor, Protective Nick (Left 4 Dead), Slow Burn, Some Humor, Survivors, Sweet Ellis (Left 4 Dead), The Long Road
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24979150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JahStorybook/pseuds/JahStorybook
Summary: In it for the long one, now, Nick has no choice but to survive, and to do that he'll need help. Even if help comes in the form of three people as crazy as he is.The worst part? He doesn't hate it as much as he ought to.A slow burn romance set in a world where CEDA is evil (so canon world) and the survivors find this out early on.
Relationships: Ellis/Nick (Left 4 Dead), Past Nick/Nick's Ex Wife
Comments: 51
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

_You just had to be in fucking Georgia, huh? She couldn't have sued you in any other state, that whore? Should have just skipped the trial..._

There was a lot Nick could have done, or not done. Could have rented a car, could have stayed outside the city, but at the right tip top of his list just then was his bitch of an ex wife. 

_Really fucked you over, didn't she Nicky? You flew too close to the sun, and you got fucking burned._

And for what? So the judge could turn mid trial and take apart the jury? Nick had never run so fast in his goddamn life. He didn't even wait to see what his ex did, just went straight for the door with everyone else. The only difference is, they turned and he didn't. 

Now he was stuck here, running through redneck central looking for any sign of safety. The infected weren't bright, but they were fast. Nick only outran them on pure instinct and adrenaline. There were a few evac sites, some quarantine zones that ultimately looked overrun when he strayed too near, which left him with just one option.

Survive on his own. That's what his gut told him, and he'd learned long ago you don't ignore gut instinct.

That mindset lasted about an hour, as well did his solitude.

* * *

_ End of the fucking world, and you’re stuck in this shit. Shouldn’t have taken the offer, you idiot. You could have stayed where everyone was healthy, stayed ahead of the sickness. _

Nope. Rochelle just had to throw herself right into peachy little Savannah, Georgia. The one place where shit hit the fan fastest.

The hotel was her only hope, now, but as Rochelle snuck past hordes of undead on her way to the rooftop, she wondered if it wouldn’t be easier to just… hide. Find someplace safe, or safe-ish, and just lay low until rescue came to  _ her. _

How nice would that be? She could break so many laws. Walk around the street naked, steal stuff, go completely wild. She stifled a laugh, trying to imagine herself like that. Looking around, it was definitely just a pipe dream.

Unlikely as it was, no one could blame a girl for wanting things easy every now and then, she thought with a grim smile. Hell, she’d even go back to just normal after this. Slipping past a half open door with a bloody handprint on it, her smile disappeared. 

Truth was, she knew the only way she was making it out alive was by finding help herself. No one was coming for her, no one was going to be out here, looking for survivors. The few evac points that were left were all that was left.

It was either get to that evac, or die trying, because Rochelle wasn’t going to die hiding in some hole. Preferably, she wasn’t going to die at all. Not for some time, at least.

She just hoped there was still help out there, somewhere. The thought that the entire world might be like this, might be dead, was too much. 

_ Don’t think like that. You have lots of friends back home, they’re counting on you to come back and you aren’t going to disappoint them! They’re out there, somewhere. _

And if she had to find them herself, then she fucking would. Ro wasn’t going to die without ever seeing another living person, she just couldn’t. Just her luck, she was five floors down when it happened. Rochelle heard them before she saw them. 

Voices, two maybe, carrying down the hall from one of the rooms. It sounded an awful lot like they were arguing, but she really couldn’t care less!

“Holy shit,” she whispered, inching closer to the sounds. If she was right…

“Come on, who cares about the stupid bag!” Survivors! Actual breathing, talking, survivors! Did they follow the evac signs as well? Were they  _ part  _ of the evac team?

Did they know it was leaving soon? 

“A’ight, fine we leave the bag! Don’t gotta shout at me.” She didn’t have time to warn them! That helicopter was leaving and it was leaving soon! If she wasted even a few more seconds-

“Nick, the door is stuck!” She froze, eyes darting down the hall towards the stairs and to the door that began to shake violently right next to her. 

_ Think! Think! What do you do, what do you do? _

“Move, move, I’ll get it!” When the door shook slightly harder and stayed put, Rochelle didn’t even have to think, she just acted. As she threw herself at the door, hitting it hard, there were two shocked gasps on the other side, one clearly cursing.

“I’m gonna get you out of there,” she shouted, trying the handle and hitting the door again.

“Holy shit, there’s someone talking out there, Nick,” the most southern voice she’d ever heard whisper shouted. She ignored it, looking around for anything that would prove useful. Anything that would get this stupid door open.

“I think it’s jammed! Can’t get it open from this side, we’ll have to break it down,” she shouted, spotting the handle of an axe sticking through the door one room down. As she ran for it she heard the unmistakable sound of infected pounding on another door nearby.

_ That really can’t be good. Maybe you should just run. You can’t help these people. Maybe if you’d gotten here sooner... _

The axe came free easily and she ran back to the jammed door, taking several quick breaths before pulling it back. As it swung into the door she heard it splinter and nodded. 

_ You can do this, Ro. You can do this. You’re dad didn’t raise a quitter! _

Every thwack of the axe seemed to shake the whole frame around the door, threatening to rip it right off the hinges. If that’s what it took, then so be it, she'd bust the whole thing down. 

“Oh shit, they’re coming in through the windows!” The axe got stuck, and her heart started beating impossibly fast. She worried she’d collapse from the lack of oxygen before she got it free at this rate.

Wiggling it, pulling with all her might, it gave just a little, but the sound of a wall coming down proved something else had made just as much progress, if not more.

“Fuck! Fuck! Shoot it!” She ripped the axe free and heard, on the other side, the sound of a boomer begin to rage. It may already be too late, but she slammed her hand against the door.

“No! Don’t shoot it,” she managed, shouting just before gunfire and the sound of the boomer exploding hit her ears. With another swing of the axe she had broken the door in and kicked a decent amount of it down. One of the survivors had shielded his face, while the other sat cowering on the ground covered in vile liquids. There was a gun by him, clearly dropped in his surprise.

Well, she tried to warn them, at least. Reaching down she pulled a piece of jagged wood out of the way, opening a hole they could get through.

“Hurry! Run!” The two of them, one dressed in a suit the other in dilapidated mechanic wear, climbed through the hole. The taller one looked rather clean, but it didn’t stop him from holding up the one covered in barf as he struggled to move, running into the side of the door. 

“I can’t fucking see nothin’! Fuck, I’m blind!” She grabbed his arm, or tried to, but the suit stopped her, jerking him back. Something in his eyes screamed both distrust and confusion and she knew better than to push her luck by trying something like that again.

“I’ve got him, you just lead the way lady.” Huffing, she turned and ran for the stairs, hearing them follow after her. She wasn’t going to stop again for them, she couldn’t afford to.

_ Save someone’s life and this is what you get. You didn’t have to help! Didn’t have to save them both from certain death and being trapped in this hotel! Not the grateful sort, is he? _

“Don’t worry about his eyes, it’ll pass in a bit,” she said, because that was more polite than what she wanted to say. He didn’t look too impressed with her self-control. 

The door to the stairwell was unlocked, and she couldn’t be more relieved shutting it behind them. As many barriers as they could fit between them and the dead, the better. “Evacs up there, no time to waste. You think you can get him up these stairs?”

“I said I’ve got him. Whole place has gone to shit,” the man muttered, hand fisting in the younger looking one’s shirt as they marched up each step. Well, you could hardly call what the kid was doing marching, seeing as how with every few steps his feet threatened to catch on the harsh incline. 

“We stick around and it’ll get a lot worse,” she said, rounding the next floor. She’d never climbed so many stairs so fast in her life. It was almost… peaceful. Only in comparison to the fighting, though! “Name’s Rochelle.”

“Good for you,” Mr. Suit said, dragging his companion around the corner after her. He easily avoided a slap from the poor little thing, who was clearly aiming entirely with just his hearing. Rochelle almost smiled, but the hard adrenaline in her blood hadn’t faded quite enough for her face to display any emotion other than panic and shock at finding actual living people.

“Don’t be rude, man. You can call me Ellis if you like, ma’am, on account of that bein’ my name an’ all.” Oh my god, he’s cute isn’t he? “Or El? I don’t know, some people call me El, but that’s kinda girly isn’t it?”

“It’s a pleasure, Ellis. Come on, you have to lift those knees a little higher honey.” He nearly tripped a few times, but it didn’t slow them down. They couldn’t afford to let it, really. Especially not when they heard the screeching of infected below and the sound of the helicopter starting above them.

Followed by the sound of the door beginning to break. She moved a little faster, not risking a glance behind them as her mind screamed  _ shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit! _

“What the hell was that thing back there, anyway? You told us not to shoot it, how’d you know what would happen?” Suit didn’t exactly look winded yet, but she heard in his voice that he was straining to keep his breathing level.

_ Surprised he isn’t on the ground gasping, actually. Doesn’t seem like the type to hit the gym or go running.. _ . 

“Boomers. They’re called boomers. Big bloated monsters. First ones that we started seeing around here. After the, you know, normal ones. Just keep your distance if you don’t wanna end up covered in their vomit and with about a dozen or more zombies piling on top of you. That stench just attracts them, for some reason.” Ellis made a gagging sound, and Suit didn’t look too happier. 

“Well, that’s just perfect,” he muttered, hand not even faltering on the slimy shirt he used to drag Ellis around. She wanted to ask where they’d met, how long they’d been together, but figured that could be a conversation for the helicopter ride out of here. 

Ellis mayde another disgusted sound and she glanced back to see him trying not to wrinkle his nose. Between stumbling with each step and trying to keep up, he was trying to wipe the goop off again. All he really accomplished was smearing it.

“Hell, I’m covered in that thing’s up chuck, right now? That is just down right nasty.” While he struggled to find some part of his body unmarked, Rochelle could tell the other one was watching her. He was practically radiating suspicion. 

“You know a lot about these things?” The question was understandable. Most people only knew what they’d seen in the media. Unfortunately, Ro had seen a lot more footage that had never aired. Stupid Ceda, stupid sickness, stupid her for even coming out here in the first place to get the real big story.

“I was reporting on them, getting information from Ceda and for Ceda. Came out here right smack in the worst of it.” Of course, that was all her choice. No one forced her, no one told her to. 

_ But you wanted to do it. You just had to have the biggest story of the century. Look where that got you, Ro.  _

“So there’s more of those things out there? More Boomers, other things?” Seeing where he was going with this, she nodded already racking her memory for the details.

“Yeah, there’s… let me think, I can remember the boomers, the chargers, the smokers…” There were more. There were definitely more. She’d just have to call them as she seen them, or write them down when she remembered.

“Well fuck, those sound awful,” Ellis said, and she was inclined to agree because he didn’t know the half of it.

“But you said the worst of it was here? That means it isn’t this bad everywhere else.” He was fishing for information, and for once she wasn’t sure she had it.

“Here wasn’t even this bad. If it was, I would never have come looking for a report. There was just a higher percentage of people getting sick. Ceda had kept the rest under tight wrap, left out so much.” They’d probably lied about so many things, hidden so many deaths. How many bodies had they buried that were  _ actually _ rolling in their graves right now, she wondered.

“And these are the people we’re trusting to come rescue us?” She completely ignored him, only glancing back when Ellis slowed and reached up, catching the suit’s arm. 

“Hol’ up, I smell gas.” His nose was turned up in a way that reminded Rochelle of a sniffing hound, comically smelling the air around them. Using the hand at his back, Suit shook him off.

“And I smell you. Let go of me and keep moving, dumbass.” Okay, so he’s mean to everyone, not just strangers who save his life. That makes him definitely the token asshole of the two, then. Good to know.

_ There’s always an asshole... Why is there always an asshole? _

“Didn’t catch your name, yet, Slick?” Well, she had, actually. She thought she had, anyway. Didn’t hurt to reaffirm it, though, just in case. Couldn’t call him Suit to his face.

“You people are too damn persistent. It’s Nicolas, alright? N-ick,” he drawled out. “Don’t wear it out.”

“Trust me, I won’t.” She snorted, rounding the second to last corner just in time to get hit by a wave of heat as the door busted down, flaming zombie sprawling out on top of it. It was twitching like crazy, but that wasn’t really her main concern.

No, she was more worried about the scorching blaze none of them had noticed spreading wildly towards them. She barely had time to move out of the way before it licked out, following the already dead zombie. The flames moved as if they were alive and seemed to gun straight for them.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick let go of Ellis’ shirt, shielding his face from the intense heat that surrounded them in seconds. The fire had come from seemingly nowhere- or so he’d thought until he looked up and saw the door- and was spreading fast on the whole floor.

Rochelle had the advantage of seeing it first and had moved out of the way just in time to dodge the flames. Ellis, on the other hand… Nick looked down, realized he didn’t hear, see, or feel the man.

His hand, the hand that had earlier been holding onto the southerner’s shirt, was empty. Ellis was no longer standing by him, and was gone.

“Shit! Get back here, kid!” The flames had only just briefly blocked their path due to the backdraft of the door, and now stuck mostly to the walls, climbing up them hungrily. Ellis seemed to have stumbled right into them, and was now laying on the floor, the same position he had apparently fallen in, with his arms thrown over his face in an x to protect himself from the heat. 

He hadn’t seen the fire, hadn’t realized what they were doing. Nick had let him go at possibly the worst time. That was only partially his fault, though, as when the idiot had fallen he not only did so forward, but landed right next to the burning zombie.

“Ellis, are you okay,” Rochelle asked, head staying low as she crawled towards him. Nick was about to help him up when the sound of someone struggling caught his ear. Struggling, and cursing.

“Someone get this goddamn thing off of me!” Nick looked up, startled. “Help!”

“How many people are in this shithole,” he growled, stalking past them. Ellis was already rolling to his feet, seemingly with a better idea of what he was doing.

“Hello? Who’s there?” He heard a loud thump and turned, looking into a room missing a whole door. 

_Where had the damn door gone? Did the fucking zombies eat it?_

A humorous thought, and one he held onto as he climbed over the maid cart blocking his way. 

Several beams had fallen, one pinning a large man to the middle of the floor. He was alive, and certainly kicking. 

_You didn’t sign up for the bullshit, Nicky. Which moron made you the designated hero, huh? And how do you quit?_

“I’m gonna need you to push with me,” he said, grabbing the end of it and shoving off the ground with every bit of strength his legs had. The man grunted, arms straining as he lifted. 

It wasn’t much, but they got it a few inches up, enough for him to slide out. “Hurry up, move your ass!”

“I’m good!” Nick dropped the beam, coughing as it kicked up ash. He desperately wanted a smoke, but put the irritation slowly forming as far back in his thoughts as he could. 

“We’re heading for the chopper, come on!” As they passed, Nick managed to grab Ellis, still on his knees, and drag him along, ears straining to hear the chopper over the roar of the flames. The last flight of stairs was the hardest, but he made it and slammed through the door with just as much energy as when he started his ascent. Which, in all honesty, wasn’t much, but there was power in it nonetheless.

The door swung heavily shut behind them, but Nick didn’t bother checking to see if Rochelle or their rescue were through. He couldn’t care less about them or if they were watching right then. He was too busy staring at the sky, or more accurately, the helicopter flying away. 

It wasn’t even too far gone to see them, so Nick did about the only thing he could do, letting go of Ellis and going to the low rail around them.

“Hey! Get the fuck back here you fucks! We’re still on the goddamn roof!” They wouldn’t hear, they couldn’t, but it made him feel minutely better having said it. Let the universe acknowledge how fucking stupid those assholes were. “God fucking damn it!”

Rochelle burst onto the roof, then, and if it weren’t for her knocking into Ellis he would have just stormed off, leaving them there to head back down the stairs.

“Watch it,” he growled mainly at her, catching Ellis when he swayed into him blinking rapidly. The hick was quiet, which was more than he could say for the burned man behind Rochelle. 

“They left us? They just left us?” The man, who was holding his hand to his chest carefully, slammed his fist into the door, head falling. “I can’t take this fucking shit.”  
“They can’t be going far, though! Right? Maybe the evac site isn’t far,” Rochelle said, looking out at the city, hoping she’d see just _where_ the chopper was going.

“I don’t know, whirlybird s’ probably long gone by now.” Ellis sounded so defeated, hands coming up to brush the remaining sludge from his face and eyes.

“Fuck that! They can’t even rescue anybody, then fuck them! We don’t need CEDA, we just need to get out of the goddamn city. Come on, Ellis, told you this was a bust,” he muttered, heading back towards the door.

“Wait, wait, wait! Look!” He glanced back, noticing the chopped heading back down. Rochelle was pointing excitedly, hope returning to her features. “Where is that? Where is it landing?”

“Looks like the hospital,” Ellis said, some hope returning into his voice as well. “Or maybe that’s the mall? I can’t tell, honestly.” 

“How’s your sight, baby?” He looked at Rochelle, shrugging his shoulders as though that were an answer. At her look, he dropped them. 

“Better. Just a little blurry. Sorry I can’t be more specific about the area, I only work here, never go to that side of town. I’m Ellis by the way, man,” he started, reaching out for the man Nick had saved. As touching as it all was, Nick noticed the smoke around them and dragged him back, shaking him a few times.

“After, Ellis. Tell us after. If we don’t get off this damn roof we’re going to get cooked alive. I don’t know about you three, but I’d rather save the introductions for when that _isn’t_ a possibility.” Nodding, Ellis dropped his hand and turned back to the door, reaching for the handle blindly for a man who could finally see again. As his hand touched the handle he cried out, pulling back.

“Fuck, that’s hot!” Groaning internally, Nick used his sleeve to turn the handle, holding it open long enough for Rochelle to catch it. 

Ellis was certainly quicker when he could see, outrunning Nick by a few steps a few times before pausing to make sure everyone was following. Nick wanted to snap at him to keep going, but refrained. Only because he didn’t want to waste his breath, though.

“Elevator works,” the man behind Ro said when they reached a section of stairs blocked by fire and a whole damn mattress.

“Good, looks like we’ll need it,” Ro said, following the large man into the corridor, Nick was right behind her, eyes on every bit of movement around them.

The elevator did work, but as they piled in Nick couldn’t help the nagging feeling that it would simply drop and they’d fall to their deaths. Never in his life had he been afraid of elevators, but a damn fire really makes you wonder why they say take the stairs.

As they descended, Nick realized Ellis was holding the wall, eyes screwed shut. 

“You alright, kid? Not hurt are you?” Ellis glanced up, back straightening immediately. 

“Just hurt my arm falling is all. Don’ look bad yet, but I just know it’s gonna bruise.” Nick found that answer slightly suspicious, and caught his arm, taking a closer look in case he’d been bit. There was a decent red circle from the impact but not much else. Wasn’t too bad, unlike the burn directly above it that Ellis failed to mention.

The elevator dinged and the southerner pulled away, taking a idiotic step backwards and out without even looking. Once more fire sprung up before them, and Nick had just a second to reach out blindly, still covering his face, to catch him and drag him back. Ellis hit him full force, making a small ‘oof’ as he collided with Nick’s chest.

“Watch it, you moron,” he griped, patting him down. The fact that he hadn’t caught on fire yet was entirely some miracle, and he didn’t expect it to last if the idiot kept falling directly into the flames. 

They made no move to get out, looking out at the fire with doubtful expressions. The elevator stayed open, lights starting to dim, and Nick looked around wildly. The fire was still spreading, burning the bodies that lay around them. Soon they’d have no way to escape or the smoke would smother them.

“Cover your faces, stay low,” he instructed, throwing an arm over Ellis’ head and ducking them both down. Ro backed him up, crouching like him to avoid the worst of the smoke. 

The exit wasn’t far, but it was going to be hell trying to reach it. Both because of the fire, which with every second Nick found more unbearable, and because the zombies were still alive. Any that noticed them didn’t get the chance to attack, thankfully, because they burnt up trying. 

Behind him, Rochelle helped their rescue keep up hand in hand. It was efficient, almost enough for Nick to consider linking his other hand with hers. He shook the thought away, reminding himself he didn’t care about these people enough to lose the only filter he had from the smoke. Even if his arm wasn’t doing much as it was, it would be a pathetic show of weakness. 

“This way,” he shouted, turning into the lobby. The main door was blocked, but they’d come in through the side door anyway. He found the corridor leading to it empty. “Back exit, through here!”

“Can barely see,” Ellis mumbled low, eyes squinting against the smoke. It was growing heavy, floating just at eye level. If they continued at their current pace, it wouldn’t be a problem. 

The real issue lay in that Nick was working almost entirely off memory, now, eyes burning with the effort to even stay open or look for the right door.

“Think it’s this way,” he said, loud enough for Ro to hear but quiet so the infected gathering near the desk didn’t notice. 

Pulling them all left towards a wide door, he was relieved to find it a familiar area. Even if he was wrong, the smoke lessened tremendously going through it and he was able to stand straighter. 

“Thank god,” their tag along said, letting go of Rochelle. He limped forward, looking around. Their exit was right there, within arms reach now. 

"Fucking finally!" Nick didn’t wait for them, just started running, Ellis still in tow for some reason. If they weren't stupid, they’d follow him. If they were... well, he wasn't going to drag them out.

He threw the door open, breathing in truly clean air once more, eyes closing reflexively. Ellis grabbed his arm, coughing like his lungs were giving out. They’d be lucky if that wasn’t the case, honestly.

Ro joined them, then, falling against the fence separating them from the parking lot to breathe deeply for a moment as she released the big man next to her. They both looked exhausted, which is exactly how he felt.

It was only then, in the brief moment of rest, that Nick bothered to look up. What he saw left him completely speechless and mildly horrified.

The city, in the span of just the thirty minutes he and Ellis had been in the hotel, had fallen almost completely. Buildings burned, streets were deserted. Cars, flights, people, all of it stopped. It was like someone had pressed pause on the whole thing as grey smoke gathered above them, blocking out the sun.

They were free from the searing pan that was the hotel, but what fire had they just fallen into? More importantly, what the hell were they supposed to do now, and where did they go?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> True to Nick's in-game character, his attitude in this story changes drastically depending on situation and who he is talking/dealing with. Unlike game Nick, however, he shows a certain tenderness for Ellis more often. This will become more obvious later on, but I thought I'd point it out early so no one thinks him out of character.

They were truly in shock. All of them. It took shaking himself for Ellis to even remember that they were still standing very close to a burning building. He stepped a few feet away from it. Still at a complete loss for what to do, he turned around and stuck his hand out for their new friend.

“Hi, my names Ellis, but you can call me whatever, and that right there is Nick, but he’s kinda quiet cause he’s always so grumpy-”

“Ellis, shut up,” Nick growled, looking away at the wreckage of the city street to smack the back of the redneck’s head. It may have looked hard, but in truth he barely felt it.

“Y’all can call me Coach, then. Gone by it so long, it’s just easier.” Coach, Ellis thought to himself, smiling. 

“I can do that. Coach it is then.” They shook hands, which Ellis noticed Nick frowned about. Ro, on the other hand, managed a tight smile.

“I’m Rochelle. Wish we were meeting under better circumstances, but at least we got out of the hotel okay.” Ellis winced then, thoughts on the burn on his arm and the general ache in his whole body.

“Well, mostly okay. What do you think the chances are there’s some bandaids around here?” Ellis took a step towards the parking lot, stopped only by Nick, blocking his way with his arm.

“Wait. Before we do anything, I want to know what the plan is. We need medical supplies and a set course before we start wandering.” Watching him intently, Ellis was calmed by his seemingly relaxed state.

_ He’s so cool about it all. He just saw like a hundred zombies and he’s just standing there, looking real pissed off at the world. You almost pissed yourself, Ellis. When you saw two zombies fighting over a bloated corpse, you threw up everywhere. _

“Alright, no harm in having a plan. I say we search the quarantine site over there, maybe see if we can’t find out where CEDA is retreating to,” Ro said, just as focused as Nick. 

“Can we maybe just like, get some painkillers along the way at least?” His voice was lost as Nick turned on her, already angry and gearing up.

“CEDA? You wanna keep chasing CEDA? They just left us to die a horrible burning death, don’t you want to maybe put your trust in someone more reliable?” Coach put his hand on Ellis’ shoulder leaning over him.   
“I don’t know if I get a say in this, but me and the boy are a little banged up. We can do with some first aid, before anything else.” Nick glanced at Ellis’ arm, eyebrows furrowing. 

“You can search the site for whatever the hell you want. Look for anything useful.” Without thinking Ellis followed him, and heard Ro huff and start after them both with Coach. Inside, he squealed a bit with happiness. The more the merrier!

There were a few zombies wandering about, but as each grew near, Ro took care of them with her axe. It looked a little comical in her hands, what with it being half the size of her, but she looked badass using it.

“Man, just look at this,” Coach said, drawing his attention. He was leaning over a pile of trash bags, kicking garbage around. “Needles, blood bags, this is all medical waste and they were just leaving it laying out in the open.”

“Kinda makes you wonder if that's how this all started was them leaving blood around. It is one of those blood diseases or somethin, right? Like they gotta bite you or else it don’t work?” He thought back to the boomer vomit in his face and his stomach was not too happy about it.

“Not quite, Ellis. In its early stages people are mostly asystematic, which is when they spread it the most. It can be spread through saliva, spit, blood, and other gross bodily fluids.” She looked unbothered by that information, despite her disgusted tone. Ellis suddenly stepped away from the trash, drawing his hands in.

“Man I hate this place a little more now.” Leaving the trash, he looked instead at the crates stacked against the side of a truck, thinking about how in all the games you see no one ever looks in the crates. As he pried the lid off, he found a few duffel bags full of gloves, masks, and surgical gowns. They looked a bit dirty, though, so he moved to the next, finding a huge orange backpack. 

It looks mostly new and in good shape, so he put it on, nodding to himself. Now if they find other cool stuff he can carry it for them. Dropping the lid, he briefly glanced in the other one before heading back to his new friends.

“The whole place is just… empty,” Ellis whispered, walking just a step behind Nick as they looked through the triage tents set up in the parking lot. A chill shot up his spine as he caught a shadow out of the corner of his eye, but when he swung around to look, it was just Ro peeking under a bed. 

“They must have packed up quickly and left with the first choppers, but that’s good for us. Look at all the stuff they left behind,” Ro said, tossing a small red bag to him. He unzipped it to find a small first aid kit. Gauze patches, eye dressings, masks, medical tape, a roll of bandages, and some gloves. There was also a very small bottle of water.

“Oh heck yeah, score. Coach come here, there’s some stuff we can use in this.” Nick stopped him from holding the bag up, showing him two more identical kits. 

“Use that one for you, idiot. We have plenty.” Ellis nodded, not really knowing what to say to that. He sat down on one of the beds and looked at his burn, ignoring the look Ro shot down at him. 

“You need some help with that?” He dabbed at the burn with one of the wet gauze squares. It had gotten dirty, which if his mom were here to see she’d slap him upside the head for. 

“It’s cool, I think I got it.” Glancing up, he found not only Ro still watching him, but Nick watching from across the tent with Coach. “I got this friend named Keith who gets himself into all sorts of trouble. I’ve cleaned him up more than once in my life.”

“Think it’ll scar, El,” Nick called to him. “Maybe make you look a little more intimidating when you kill zombies.” Though he was joking, or it sounded like he was, Ellis looked the burn over, eyes narrowing on the worst of it, where he’d hit burning wood.

“No. Doesn’t feel great, but at worst probably just hurt for a week or two until it's gone.” It wasn’t like the burns in movies, kinda just looked like he’d pressed his arm to a hot pan for a second, dark red and rough to the touch. He wasn’t even entirely sure if it warranted wrapping. 

“How’s that look, Ro, I can’t see.” She glanced down, wincing.

“Like it hurts. Clean, though.” He nodded in agreement, setting the patch of gauze down and shoving the kit in his bag.

_ Doing something right feels nice. Better than when you shot that dumb boomer and almost got yourself and Nick killed.  _

“I’m done, too,” Coach said, drawing their eyes. He was lowering his shirt back down, revealing the unfortunate burnt hole in the front. He was definitely worse off than Ellis.

“Anything you didn’t use I can carry,” Ellis volunteered, opening the backpack for them. Nick dropped the spare medkit in, as well as what looked like a bottle of water. Ellis hoped it was sealed tightly. 

“We’ll have to keep an eye out for food, cause I am way hungry right now,” he complained, zipping the bag up and tossing it onto his back. He tightened the straps so it wouldn’t slide or bounce if they had to run.

“Damn, tell me about it. What I wouldn’t give for a decent meal right about now.” Ellis would settle for some peanuts, personally. He was really,  _ really,  _ craving peanuts.

“Alright, if that's all settled, what’s the plan?” All eyes turned on Ro, and no one seemed to want to be the first to offer a suggestion.

* * *

“The mall is completely overrun with the infected. Even if CEDA were set up there, chances are they aren’t anymore,” Coach said, making Rochelle groan. Ellis sat on one of the triage tents, looking at the stuff Nick had continued to find while they argued. 

It felt a lot like he was the kid who wasn’t getting a say in the adult matter, but that was mostly just because he hadn’t thought of anything useful to say, yet. Nick, on the other hand, seemed intent on speaking his mind.

“The mall is a fucking deathtrap, is what he’s saying. Look, I get it, you want out of this place. We all do, trust me.” Nick probably didn’t mean to sound so confrontational, or maybe he did, but Ro looked ready to fight.

“And what do you suggest? That we sneak out of the city and hope we make it on foot?” Ellis had a thought then, a good thought, and he perked up.

“We can drive! There’s cars everywhere, surely one of them must work, still. And if it don’t I can fix it up! I do that for a living, or I did anyway.” Nick looked appreciative, in an odd way, grinning smugly at Ro when she realized she was losing three to one.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, honey, but the cars are all crashed or smashed up.” He glanced around, looking for a vehicle that would move without falling apart. 

“Well, we just gotta find one that wasn’t running when this all happened. Hell, it’s only been the apocalypse for a few days,” he said, not losing his enthusiasm. 

“You heard him, the odds are in our favor,” Nick said, mock cheeringly. Suddenly Ellis wasn’t sure if he was on the right side.

“Fine, we look for a damn car,” Ro growled, giving up. “But when we don’t find one, I say we go try to find CEDA again. They were made for this shit, surely they’re out there somewhere.” 

“I don’t know, ma’am. Seems like they’s the first ones who left.” Ellis thought back to his garage, boarded up so no one would steal his tools when he left the city, only to find the streets overrun with people coming back from the dead and every evac site deserted.

“Lets everyone just calm down some, alright? Ellis, you say you can fix us a car, but where do we take it after that?” Coach’s words silenced them all. 

_ Didn’t think about that.  _

“There is always Vegas,” Nick said, some humor returning to his voice. No one else seem to amused.

“We’ll be needing weapons. Food, too. Maybe two of us hit the ammo shop on Third Street and the other two find a car. Then, we meet up,” he suggested, watching Nick start to nod. Coach and Ro, on the other hand, disagreed.

“Let’s stick together. We start going off on our own then we’re gonna be that much easier to pick off by the zombies.” Nick scoffed, either in agreement that they’d die without him or in disagreement that he’d die without them, Ellis really wasn’t too sure.

“Well, then we’re gonna be here a while, I guess. We really should hit that weapon shop, though. People tore out of here in such a hurry, I doubt it’s empty. Plus, everyone already has guns.” He jumped at the sudden sound of Nick’s laughter.

“You’re goddamn right! This may be the first time I’m happy to be in the south,” he said, sounding completely serious. “Alright, I vote gun store, then.”

The thought of Nick, gun in hand shooting at zombies with that growing typical scowl on his face, made Ellis’ face heat up slightly. That was a thought he’d worry about later, though, because the other three were starting to move.

“Alright, gun store sounds good to me. We can certainly use the firepower.” Coach looked at Ro, clearly waiting for her agreement before continuing. 

“Yeah, I guess this thing is going to get heavy fast. Could use something lighter.” Nick pulled Ellis up, completely oblivious to the red tint of his cheeks. He wasn’t quite sure why the image in his head before had made him so flustered, but it wasn’t something he had time to think about, either.

_ There are actual undead zombies walking around. This is a problem for later, Ellis. Later. Don’t think about Nick with a gun. Don’t think about Nick pulling you out of actual fire. Don’t think about that hand still on your arm.  _

This was going to be hard.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the focus is so primarily Nick and Ellis, but I did intend for this to be just their story! The chapters might be getting longer, also <3

Coach wished more than anything he could have been home the day everything went to shit. it'd have been different, hearing about the disease on the news, coming outside to find his neighbors insane and attacking each other. Instead, he’d been staying in a hotel with a few parents and the entirety of his football team, on their way to the championships. 

None of them made it. Not a single one. A few hadn’t turned, but he’d heard the screams, saw them diving out the windows as their friends, their teammates, turned into monsters. Coach had tried to help, tried to hold them back, but most of them were already too far gone, and the rest were already turning. He'd run for the stairs, hid on the top floor for a whole night. The image of all those kids’ faces haunting what he thought might be his last night on earth.

Look how wrong he’d been. Not only did he survive, but he had a purpose again. Not teaching, not training, but protecting. Nothing was going to happen to these kids, although you could hardly call them that. He swore on his life, to God, he'd do right.

He’d help them get to the gun store, keep the monsters at bay as best he could with nothing but his fists if that was what it took. At least Ro had herself an axe on that front.

“Keep up greaseball,” Nick called, making the three of them look up to catch Ellis rummaging through a car. He stood straight, looking around for them. When he caught them a good ten steps ahead he grinned sheepishly.

“I thought we were watching for working cars,” he said, jogging to rejoin them. It didn’t escape Coach’s attention that as soon as he was close Nick grabbed his shirt, tugging him to the center of the group. Could just be because he was injured, or maybe he wandered off too often when on the outside, but something told him Nick wasn’t the sort of guy that held onto his worse hand and played his best. 

After all, he seemed a man who knew his way around a deck of cards, and Coach knew a vice when he saw one.

“You know, Ellis. We had a deal about the evac site.” Coach glanced away from a passing infected, curious. The mechanic looked confused, at first.

“Ah shit, you’re right! Man, so much has happened I completely forgot!” Ro seemed equally intrigued now, watching as Ellis reached into his pockets, dug around with a determined look on his face, and pulled out a scuffed up green Metallica wallet. He handed it to Nick, smiling.

“Alright, let’s see,” he said, unzipping it and scoffing. “You have nothing but loose change in here.” 

“I never said how much money I’d give you if I was wrong, only that you could have everything in it.” Coach watched as the gambler looked through the side pouch, face carefully guarded as he found what appeared to be an ID. Then, a grin broke out.

“You can’t drive?” They all three stopped. Ellis whipped around, spotting the ID and flushing. When he lunged for it Nick tossed the card to Coach, holding Ellis at bay while he read it.

“Ellis James Mickey? That’s… a lot.” He looked closer at the date of birth, eyes going wide before Ellis swiped the card away. 

“That’s not cool man. I don’t make fun of your name.” Probably because he didn’t know Coach’s name, and that was for the best. if he thought Mickey was embarrassing then _oh boy_.

“Son, it says there you were born in 1985. That makes you what, twenty three?” All this time Coach had been thinking he was twenty eight, maybe twenty nine. Instead, he suddenly felt like he was standing next to a child.

“I think we’re missing the bigger point here, you don’t have a driving licence,” Nick said, waving the wallet at them. Ellis tucked the ID back into his pocket, even knowing he may never use it again.

“I can drive just fine, I just never bothered taking the test. Never been too good at tests.” Ro, having a small amount of pity, didn’t laugh. 

“I didn’t get mine until I was twenty two, we aren’t so different.” As soon as she said it, her face lost all emotion. Coach could picture her comparing herself to the loud artless boy and almost cackled. 

“Practically twins,” Nick joked, giving the wallet back to Ellis, “but that isn’t what I was talking about when I said we had a deal. That bet was a joke, really. I’m talking about the backup plan. You remember? If CEDA is a bust, we head west.” 

“What,” Ro asked, eyes darting between the two. “West? No one said anything about west, why west?”

“Cause that’s where Nick’s from,” Ellis offered, poking his head through the open window of a car. He looked mostly unconcerned with the conversation, already distracted. 

“It’s where I live, not where I’m from, moron.” He pulled Ellis out of the car when the mechanic had wiggled his entire upper body through the window, setting him back on their path. 

“We can’t just  _ go west _ ,” Ro argued, stopping them mid step with a hand on Ellis’ chest. Ellis didn’t seem to notice the way Nick tensed up. Coach did, though. 

“Who said anything about taking you with us,” he asked, waiting for her to move. Coach knew a warning when he saw one and was just about to jump in and stop them when Ellis casually moved Ro out of the way, politely nodding as he went to look through the window of a clothing shop. Nick relaxed a little, eyes following the Georgian until they snapped back to Ro. 

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little?” Coach knew he didn’t think so, could see the fire in the man's eyes. Whatever he'd decided about Ellis, the same clearly didn't apply to the rest of them, yet.

“How about we just get to the gun store,” Coach interjected, patting Ro on the back. “Come on, stick to the plan for now, guys. No use arguing out here in the open.”

* * *

Everyone was real quiet on the way to the store, putting Ellis on edge. Nick stuck close to him, hands always seeming ready to pull him away if things went south. He couldn’t say he understood the animosity between Ro and Nick, but he wanted no part in it. A deal was a deal, though…

Looking up, Ellis examined Nick closely, pondering on how it’d be to just be the two of them again. It helped, already helped, having two extra sets of eyes and hands. But if they couldn’t get along or decide on a set course, how could he hope to stay with Ro and Coach, too? 

It wasn’t fair. They needed each other, but he wasn’t sure who he needed, or wanted, more. Nick was his friend, was the one he met first and who helped him get to the hotel. But Ro had saved his life. And he already thought of Coach as a friend, too. Why did everyone have such a hard time getting along?

They found the store easily enough, raising the mechanics spirits just a little. He pushed away his worries, nudging Nick with his elbow.

“See that! What’d I tell you, still in one piece!” He set off towards the door, about to break out into a sprint, when two different hands caught him. He looked back to find both Coach and Nick holding him, Nick with that usual grim look and Coach with an exasperated expression.

“Boy, just hold on for a minute. Could be alarms, infected, armed maniacs. Let’s take this nice and slow.” Ellis, frowning a little, waited for them all four of them to reach the shop at their own pace and nod before reaching for the handle. The door wasn’t even locked, and as he swung it open, no alarm sounded. 

“Holy shit,” he breathed, eyes adjusting to the dark and finding the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. Nick urged him in, glancing around. To say he looked pleased was an understatement.

“Yeah, this works.” It was the motherload. A beautiful feast after days of starving. Guns, guns everywhere. He moved for the rifles, looking for the biggest clip capacity he could find. Nick moved for the pistols first, and he could respect that about a man. 

His bag came in handy for dumping as much ammo as they could find in, then stuffing with smaller guns. There was a vending machine that he shook, collecting a few bags of chips, a bag of skittles, and a candy bar. Everything went in his bag, and he’d never felt happier. He held off on eating, though, going to the back of the store and finding a bat propped against the wall.

“Man, I can’t wait to use this on the next boomer I see. Imma get me some payback,” he said, looking up and smiling at Ro as she glanced around, drawing awfully close. 

“That’s nice. So, Ellis, I was wondering... Is he always that protective of you? Ya know, Nick?” Ellis glanced up at her, looking around in confusion. Nick was talking to Coach quietly, close enough to see them still, but not hear their conversation. He seemed to be showing the older man the best way to hide a gun in his waistband.

“What do you mean? He’s been looking out for all of us.” And he had been. He certainly didn’t have to stick around and help them find a car, but just look at him now. 

“No, no, I think you’re confused. He keeps us from being mauled to death by zombies, and at the same time looks out for  _ you.  _ You think he’d have snapped at me if it were Coach I’d been arguing with him about?” Slightly uncomfortable now, Ellis turned to draw closer to the others. Ro caught his arm, making him wince. No one missed how Nick’s head shot up, ears seemingly trained for the smallest noise. 

“What are you doing,” he asked, noticing Ro’s hand over his exposed burn. She let go, stepping back in surrender.

“Just talking, I forgot he was hurt.” Nick didn’t look away, glare focusing on her accusingly. 

“It’s cool, Nick, we was just talking about that big zombie from the hotel. How you think it’ll like this badass thing next we see one,” he asked, holding up the bat. Nick wrinkled his nose.

“I think you’ll hit one and it’ll pop like a water balloon.” Ellis looked at the bat, reconsidering. 

“Yeah, hold on a second, you’re right.” He shoved the bat in his belt and kept looking. Ro didn’t move to step away, but she maintained a few seconds of suspicious eye contact with Nick. Though, the suspicion was entirely on Nick’s side.

_ Nick’s not treating you any different. Just warmed up to him faster is all. Right? _

He just wasn’t so sure. 

Nick pulled him close when he vaulted over the counter, showing him a magnum revolver with an unfamiliar symbol etched into it. Ellis was pretty sure he hadn’t picked it up in the store.

“This right here is the most reliable gun in the world,” he said, loading it. Ellis opened his mouth to argue that, but stopped at the look Nick shot him. 

“It’s saved my life exactly four times before today, and something tells me it’s going to save it a lot more.” He tucked it into the holster at his leg before handing Ellis a smaller, lighter revolver. 

“Oh, I grabbed some guns already, they’re just in my-”

“Take it. It’s not the same as mine but it’s close, and you’re gonna need something that draws less attention sometimes. Plus, you can keep it right here,” he dragged his bag off and set it down, pulling a holster around him like a vest. “Easier to get to, trust me.” 

“Thanks, Nick,” he said, and he meant it. There was a gentle nature to the way Nick touched him, at that. His hand paused while buckling the holster, fingers resting against his ribs and probably feeling each breath he took.

And then he pulled away and Ellis thought once more that he really didn’t know anything.

_ Maybe Rochelle was right. Maybe he treats you a little different, but maybe that isn’t such a bad thing.  _

“Well, I don’t know about y’all,” Coach started, tearing through the heavy air around the two, “but I have never felt more protected in my life.” 

“Now if only we had some body armor,” Ellis joked, bending down to unzip his bag and show off the food. He was getting real hungry. “Who wants snacks?”

“Maybe later, El. It sounds like infected outside.” Ellis looked up, having to rise up on his knees to see over the counter. A small group of zombies had apparently caught wind of them. Maybe by their scent or sound, he wasn’t all too sure. 

“Shit! How likely do you think it is that they’ll pass by? If we shoot now we’ll draw the whole pack of them.” Nick checked the room, eyes calculating. 

“Close everything up, stay quiet,” he ordered. They closed the doors, moving a chair in front of it for good measure. The windows were barred already, harder to see through in the dark, but they didn’t risk being seen through them and put a ridiculously huge american flag over the biggest one. Nick rejoined him behind the counter and Ro and Coach stuck to the walls. 

The sun was setting, casting the shop in almost total darkness. They were all quiet, waiting. Ellis bit into hand to keep from making even the slightest noise, and Nick seemed to take notice somehow, dragging his arm down and tucking his face into the thick fabric of his jacket. The low breath he drew in through his nose was both out of shock and the need to take in the intoxicating smell of Nick’s fading cologne. 

“Shhh,” he whispered, hand firm against the back of his head. Ellis could only hear two things. The zombies, shuffling past the windows and door, and his own deafening, deadly, hard heartbeat. 


	5. Chapter 5

Nick wasn’t sure what possessed him to drag the redneck against his chest, maybe it was the frightened look in his eyes or the desperate way he’d stifled his own voice, but he’d just acted. He didn’t hold his hand, didn’t whisper that it would be okay. He didn’t have to, because the moment they were touching Ellis was silent.

Now they were crouched on the floor together, Ellis gripping his shirt in a way he’d try to remember to complain about when he got the chance. While the infected party drifted past the windows, casting demented shadows on the wall above them, they held each other. The others couldn’t see them, didn’t know he was practically cradling the man beside him. 

That may be the only reason he continued to do so as the sound of snarling faded until it was just them breathing in a dark room. He knew they were in the clear, knew he could stand up whenever he wanted to. But for just a few seconds he let his hand stay pressed against the soft wavy curls at the base of Ellis’ head.

_Did Karina fit this perfectly in your arms? Funny, you can't even remember how she felt in your arms, not when you're holding him._

Rather than let Coach or Ro ruin the moment, he slowly let go and stood up. Ellis stayed on the floor, but he didn’t really blame him as his face had taken on an embarrassing red tint. It made something in his chest swell with pride. Good to know the effect he had on women worked just as well on guys.

“Looks like we’re good. Let’s get out of here before more show up.” Sparing the man beside him any further teasing, he walked away and left him to get up on his own, pretending he wasn't blatantly drawing attention away so he could get ahold of himself. Ro was peeking out the side of the window, the tip of her axe resting on the floor as she held it out of sight. 

“Looks like they all went behind the shop. We should just go back out this way,” she said. Nick agreed, unblocking the door for the rest of them. He held it open like the gentleman they all knew he wasn't.

“You alright, kiddo,” Coach asked as Ellis shuffled past, his cap tugged down over his eyes and his face still very red. The cool air outside would probably help. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” As if to prove his point he walked out ahead of the rest of them, lifting his bag over his shoulders. Nick refused to smile. 

“Alright, we’ve got guns, we’ve got some food. I think it’s time we vote on where to go next.” Ro didn’t sound too excited. Nick didn’t blame her though, because he knew already they had different ideas on the best course of action. “Ellis, you said the chopper went down at the mall, right?” 

“Not this again. CEDA isn’t doing shit to rescue us!” She ignored him, waiting patiently for Ellis to answer as they walked.

“I said it _coulda_ been the mall. Might have been the hospital or shit knows what else. I’ve never been up that part of town.” It wasn’t quite denial, but Nick caught the look Ellis shot him and knew he’d back him up. He was a bit too full of himself, seeing as how this didn't come as any surprise.

“They left us behind one time, Nick. One time. For all we know, they didn’t see us.” Coach, looking between the two wildly, had his hands ready to throw between them. “There could be actual help out there, waiting for us!”

“Lady, _no one_ is waiting for us.” Her face grew three shades darker in anger, blood looking to actually boil as she took a step closer. Before they could shout some more or, Nick suspected, fight, Ellis grabbed him. 

“Nick,” he hissed, tugging him down to look where he was looking and pointing up at the building across from them. “Look! We are so totally being watched right now!”

“What…” They looked up at the apartment balcony Ellis was gesturing to, finding a hooded man, or infected he should say, hunched over and snarling at them. Nick jumped back, pushing Ellis and Ro at the same time. "What the shit!?"

“Oh Christ,” Coach shouted, pulling his gun up. Ro was at his side, just as surprised when she got a good look at it.

“Fuck, it’s a hunter! They jump, watch out!” Going for her pistol, Ro got it stuck in her belt and struggled to free it. Nick stopped her, eyes not leaving the predator. It made as if to climb over the railing but then stopped, inching back and eyeing each of them closely.

“It’s not attacking.” He wasn’t stupid, he knew it would. He just didn’t know why it hadn’t yet. Maybe it was sizing them up, choosing who it’d go after first. Nick didn’t like the way it was looking over them, looking past him.

“Those things can rip people apart in seconds,” Ro warned him as he lowered his gun, moving Ellis further behind him to be safe. Coach was ready, gun trained on the swaying form in case it so much twitched. 

“I’ve never seen one hold back like that.” They were driven by one need, one thought. Attack. This thing was no different. The only time that didn’t apply was when they interacted with other infected, ignoring or sometimes working with the zombies like the boomer had done with its vomit.

The hunter didn’t pounce like he expected it to, though. Instead it receded into the shadows of the balcony, crawling back inside as though scared off. Nick couldn’t fathom by what, but he knew he’d be watching his back extra close.

“Maybe it decided to leave us alone,” Coach suggested, looking like he very much doubted his own words. The infected didn’t just _back down_. Especially not when such a good meal presented itself like they had. How long had it watched them while they bickered, he wondered.

“Or we just got lucky and it wasn’t hungry.” Absurd.

“There’s no way we’re that lucky,” Nick growled, at the same time Ellis let out a quick yell that was suspiciously muffled. He turned, bringing his gun up and pointing at the now captured Georgian being dragged back. 

“Drop it! Drop the gun!” A tall sickly looking man had one hand wrapped around Ellis’ throat and the other was holding a gun to his head. Nick thought, for just one split second, that the world had been painted red as anger overtook him.

“Step the fuck away from him and maybe I don’t blow your ugly head off,” he snarled, adjusting his aim so if he fired, even if on accident, Ellis wouldn’t be hit. The same couldn’t be said for the bony elbow sticking out past Ellis’ shoulder.

“That ain’t how this works,” the man said, slowly rolling his head to the side to look at Ellis. He was jittery, shaky, but his hold was firm and NIck could see from the wince in Ellis' face. “If you want him back, I suggest you put down the weapons, toss them forward.” 

They were all watching him, even Ro and Coach, desperately shooting glances at the gun and Ellis and back at him. They were waiting for his lead, he realized with a shock. 

Before he could comply, though, or threaten as he’d been planning to do, Ellis did just what Nick wished he wouldn’t. He lifted his foot up high and stomped it down on the half bare gnarled foot next to his. Almost instantly he was hit with the butt of the gun, slipping further into the man’s grasp and throwing him off. Ro took the chance to lunge for the gun, being the closest and most likely to get it away on time. 

Nick swore loudly, dodging as they wrestled with it and it nearly pointed at him, firing wildly at everything. Ellis dropped to the ground once released, and with nothing stopping him Nick pulled his gun back up, shock completely gone.

“Get down,” he shouted, the only warning Ro got, before he fired. She’d managed to move out of the way, though, and as he pressed the trigger the bullet found their attacker’s chest, sending him to his back.

“Shit,” Coach shouted, pulling Ellis away from the bloody man as Ro covered her face. The sound of their fighting echoed around them, chaos as they dragged Ellis into an alley out of view in case the infected showed up. Nick grabbed the bag the man had pulled off Ellis before following them, watching the street for movement.

“How bad is it,” Ro asked him as he knelt down by them and turned Ellis’ face, brow furrowed.

“It’s not. Get me one of the first aid kits, we need to keep it clean.” When no one moved he looked up, finding them both staring at the body in the street. “Now!”

“Sorry!” Ro dug out the already open kit, handing it over. “What was wrong with that man? He looked infected, but I’ve never seen the infected talk before.” 

“Hell if I know.” He was careful, wiping the blood from Ellis’ face. He didn’t want any of it making it back into the blunt gash. “Wake up, idiot.”

“Nick, he’s out cold,” Coach said, looking down at them and then back at the street, gun at the ready. Just because the man was dead didn’t mean they were safe.

Nick ignored him and Ro both, wrapping a single line of bandage around the kid’s head with a gauze patch to lessen the bleeding. He hoped, really, really hard, that it was enough. If any of the infected blood had gotten in his wound…

Some people didn’t get sick. Nick hadn’t, not even when he’d wrestled his way out of a courtroom and all the way back to a crappy motel where he’d stashed his gun and a suitcase. He wasn’t sure why some people stayed healthy, wasn’t sure if Ellis would when directly exposed to tainted blood. 

“Is he going to be okay,” Ro asked, holding Ellis’ hand carefully as though his whole body were fragile at the moment. Nick caught the sight of more blood, then, just under Ellis’ shoulder, and pulled him up to look at it. It wasn’t coming from the head wound, and it didn’t look like a splatter from the attacker. No, it looked like...

“His head's fine,” he said, heart rate picking up and chest feeling ready to burst. “It’s the fucking bullet in his back we need to worry about.”

* * *

Ro had gone wide eyed at the mention of a bullet, and Nick completely ignored her as he flipped Ellis to his side, dragging his shirt down to get a better look.

“He’s been shot?! I- what do we do?” Scoffing, Nick moved her hand away from the entry wound. It was hilarious, honestly, how worse off they'd be without him.

“You don’t do anything, sweetheart. Lucky for you guys I know a little something about patching up bullet holes.” Of course, they’d usually been on his own person. 

There was no exit wound and the blood wasn’t as bad as it could be. Feeling carefully around the skin, he thanked redneck Georgia for the resilient little bastard having such damn sturdy bones. 

“Alright, we need to stop the bleeding.” Ro looked at him like he was crazy. “What?”

“What about the bullet? How are we going to get it out?” Nick showed her the hole, rolling Ellis’ arm slowly. 

“I’m not a fucking doctor, okay? I go poking around in there for a bullet our here in the street, I could cause more damage than good. Right now it doesn’t look like the bullets hurting him any, and that’s the best we could’ve hoped for.” Looking around, Nick noted the apartment and considered, before picturing the hunter crawling around in there, breaking in. 

“It’s not safe out here,” Coach said, picking up on his thoughts.

“We could find a hotel. Small room, only one way in. Until he’s awake it’d be the easiest place to defend and you can patch him up without having to worry about any surprises.” Ro seemed certain, and Nick trusted her on it. Even if she was wrapped up in the idea of some rescue team waiting for them, she was a smart gal. Albeit an annoying one.

“Lead the way then,” he said, grabbing Ellis arm and pulling him over his shoulders. When he stood up, Ro looked him up and down, nodding with a smirk. He ignored her playful jab. 

“I know a place near here. Drove past it a few times but never stayed there.” Coach beckoned them after him, on guard from any more surprise attacks. 

That would be the last thing they needed just about then. As it was, two of them were injured and with Nick carrying Ellis, that left just Ro in the best condition. 

Nick didn’t like those odds, but he never did know when to quit.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AGHHHH I am so sorry this is late. Unfortunately, I've been a bit sick as of late.

Ellis woke up hanging off of Nick’s shoulders, gasping in pain and demanding to be set down.

'Hell no," Nick argued, holding him tighter when he wiggled. "You've got a fucking bullet in you, El. Just stay still."

"Put me down." No budging. "Nick! Put me down, please!" Nick kept an arm around him, just for safe measure, but granted his wish.

Though he was disorientated at first, stumbling a good few feet before catching his bearings, Ellis stayed standing. That along was a feat of itself, seeing as how there was a trickle of blood stinging his eyes and he'd just found out he had an actual bullet in him. 

"You're gonna be fine, El," Nick assured him as he began to slip further into shock. He trusted him. He trusted him and chose to believe him.

Every step he missed, every stumble he made, Nick's arm grew tighter around him Finally it became too much and he let his head drop against the increasingly filthy white jacket of the man beside him.

“Ellis,” he asked, not rolling him off or stopping. They continued to walk, one of them mostly dead weight.

“Hurts,” he answered, it was really the only answer he had. The only one he cared to give, anyway. It wasn’t untrue, both his head and back were awful. The light sting of his temple was manageable, however, whereas the burning at his back was a constant hamper of his usual good mood. Enough to make him forget the actual burn on his arm.

“We’re almost there,” Ro told him, and he couldn’t bring himself to ask where _there_ was. Smiling reassuringly at her was at first difficult, and by the time they came into view of a hotel he could do no more than nod his head in a single jerk when she asked how he was. Nick took this as meaning he needed to move quicker, hold tighter, and Ellis only stumbled more. 

“You find a room that isn’t destroyed,” Coach asked, checking the number on the door before heading towards reception. Ro followed him, watching his back while Nick dug in his pockets.

When he pulled out a bank card Ellis almost laughed, but the mere thought made his head hurt. Nick used the card to slide the lock open, not bothering to wait for a key or the others before pushing it in. He helped Ellis to one of the beds, of which there were two, and settled him on his side.

_It’s so hard for you to pretend you don’t love that. Everything he does is makes him that much cooler, that much hotte-_

“I’ll need to get this off,” he said, taking the hem of Ellis’ shirt and tugging it up. Rather than strain his arm and shoulder, he lifted it off one arm and slid it down the other. 

“Is it bad?” It felt bad. It felt awful. 

“Just stay still, alright? Gonna patch you up, you’ll be fine.” When he talked like that, voice low and almost soothing, whispering just in case others were listening, Ellis felt every fearful thought of his slip away. He could probably listen to him talk endlessly, never tiring of hearing him.

Nick could be lying. He could be one hundred percent lying and Ellis would still die to hear that voice whisper to him again. Those thoughts weren’t the sort he felt he ought to be having at the time, though, so he shook his head, grabbed the sleeve of his tied off overalls, and waited. 

_Better if you aren't surprised by the pain._

When he felt fingers prodding the flesh around the bullet, he held tighter, sucking in a sharp breath through his nose. The fingers were gone in an instant, but the pain lingered. 

“It’s not going to feel great, digging that out. I’ll need something sterile, and you’ll need something stronger than pain pills.” The door swung open, then, and Ellis shut his eyes at the sound. 

“How’d you get in,” Ro asked, coming to his side and looking down at Nick’s hands on his skin. Briefly, very briefly, he wondered if her sudden pause was because of the bullet or the myriad of scars from his rowdy childhood.

“Doesn’t matter. Get in and close the door, Coach.” The hands were back suddenly, pressing a little too close to where all the pain gathered. It wasn’t Nick’s hands touching him, but it was Nick’s hands that knocked Ro’s off his shoulder. “Don’t touch anything.”

“Easy,” she said, backing off while Nick urged Ellis to move further onto the bed. 

“Just- just look around for some clean towels. Bring all of them here, and if you find anything with a high concentration of alcohol bring that too. Nothing lower than 60 percent.” Ellis’ throat felt tight as he remembered a vivid injury and his mother dabbing at his elbow with disinfectant after he skinned it. He could only imagine how awful this was going to be.

Coach went to the bathroom first, found a stack of towels and small cloths that Nick took and laid down. While he tore the blanket off the corner of the bed Coach and Ro went back out, presumably to look for the alcohol. 

“Should I lay down,” he asked, carefully unthreading a tear in his sleeves as his voice betrayed fear. Nick stopped everything, looking into his eyes. He didn’t really care if he had to sit up or lay down, not really. He just felt so useless, sitting here while everyone else buzzed around.

“I don’t have anything to numb you,” he said quietly, carefully. Ellis nodded, as if in confirmation or acceptance. “I’ve done this before, though. A few times, actually.” 

“Show off,” Ellis snorted, managing a small smile as Nick lifted his hand as if to touch his face. Thinking better on it, he turned and started looking through the drawers in the room. For what, Ellis wasn’t sure, but he was sure that it was a convenient way to not see how his smile had fallen.

Other than a bible, which he laid next to the tv, the only things in the room were a phone book and a remote. Both got tossed to the side. 

“Nick, are you okay?” He laughed. Not in a mocking way, but Ellis got the idea that of the two of them, it was maybe a little funny that he was the one asking.

“Alcohol!” Looking up, he felt as though he’d been caught. Though, he was almost sure he hadn’t been doing anything to warrant being caught.

Almost.

“Let me see,” Nick said, reaching for the two bottles Ro carried. One of them he handed to Ellis almost immediately. “Drink that.”

“All of it?” Ellis was more of a beer guy than a- he looked closer at the torn label- crown guy? Whatever it was, if it helped dull the pain he’d do what he had to. Ignoring Ro’s disbelieving eyes, he pulled the top off and held it by the neck to his lips.

It took several eye watering seconds to get to the halfway point. Looking up at Nick, he was relieved when he took it away, letting it settle some before seeming to accept that he was relaxed enough. Ellis' tongue felt odd afterwards. 

“Think these’ll help,” Coach offered beside him to Nick, holding out a pair of what looked like dental tweezers. Nick looked them over with an almost disappointed air before taking them.

“They will.” He was being pushed down, then, one arm kept flat by his side by Nick’s knee. He’d object if he wasn’t sure Nick was doing it for his safety. 

As he laid a towel over his back and along his side, Ellis tried to bite into his arm in hopes it lessen the coming pain. His teeth found fuzzy cloth instead and he opened his eyes to see that Nick had dropped a folded bit of fabric for him to bite instead. 

“You have to stay still, okay? It’s going to hurt, a lot, but I promise it’ll be over quick.” Those words set a deep fear in him, but he wasn’t a crybaby. 

“Do it.”

* * *

Ro had a very hard time staying in the room. Between Ellis’ muffled grunts of pain and Nick’s steady hands pulling out the crushed looking bullet, she was struggling not to throw up.

Coach was doing what he could to keep the man from jerking around too much, and Nick was already cleaning and bandaging Ellis up before she knew it. She felt somewhat at a loss of what to do.

“I need to wash my fucking hands,” Nick said suddenly, standing up. His fingers were red, wet, face carefully guarded as he refused to look at them. 

Ro, since she was still clean, drew closer to get a look at Ellis while Nick left towards the bathroom, hands carefully raised in front of him.

“How do you feel, sweetie?” He made a noise, something like a groan and jumbled words, and she winced as he turned to face her. He’d managed to bite his lip somehow.

“Is it over?” At her nod he turned his head back into the bed, the muscles in his back less tense. “I’ve never been shot before.”

“Me neither. Lets try not to do it again, okay?” She thought back to the mad man waving the gun around, his skin pale and eyes grey. 

“He’d be fine if you hadn’t thrown yourself at the weapon.” She looked up at Nick, drying his hands on one of the towels as he watched them. “You’re lucky it didn’t hit anything more important.”

“Nick, she was just trying to look out for him. Boy didn’t give us much of a choice, either.” Ellis looked up, as if only just realized they were speaking of him.

“Man that guy was probably a murderer. Or a cannibal. Nick, do you think that guy was a cannibal?” Not quite done glaring at her, he dropped the towel and turned away, gaze softening at Ellis.

“I don’t know, El. Get some rest.” He receded back into the bathroom.

“Way that boy acts, I’m surprised you two have stuck together so long,” Coach teased, helping Ellis get comfortable, propping him up on a pillow.

“Well, I guess that’s probably my fault. We’ve been through a whole lot, me and him. So much shit in just two weeks.” Ro sat up straight, head snapping to face the babbling idiot so fast she feels it tighten in pain.

“Two weeks? You mean you and him aren’t-” She didn’t really know how to continue that question without making everything really awkward. Instead, she stands up and joins Coach at his side.

_You mean they aren’t a couple? Not sneaking glances at each other every time you aren’t looking? Not whispering quietly to each other in the dark behind gun counters._

“Think we were lifelong buddies by how we act, huh? My mama told me I have that kind of effect on people.” Ro and Coach sat down, then, letting Ellis smile as though falling into a pleasant memory. He definitely looked a little tipsy.

“So you two met in the middle of the apocalypse. How?” This was a story she’d been dying to hear. Already she’d speculated, theorized, but so far nothing seemed realistic.

“Not quite the middle. We met when it first went to shit. You remember at the start? When people were leaving out to actual quarantine zones? Well, that's where I sent my family. I stayed behind, hoped to weather through it in my garage.” She did remember the quarantine zones. They let a few people in, only the healthy ones, and then closed off the borders at the first sign of infection. From what she’d heard, most of them were failures. She wondered if Ellis knew that.

“So Nick found your garage,” Coach asked, drawing a chuckle from him.

“No. No, I heard over the radio about those evac sites and decided I should try and get out while I still had the chance. I met Nick doing the same thing. We ran into each other running from a horde. Didn’t get a chance to introduce ourselves for a good ten minutes we were so out of breath.

“He’s the one who suggested we find the site together. Said our odds of survival were higher if there were two of us. I agreed. Course, I was doing jus’ fine, but it was getting real lonely bein’ on my own.

“We were miles from the evac sites. There were healthy people, still. Not many, but a few shops had been turned into hideouts… Nick and I avoided them, didn’t want to risk getting caught in a closed space with a bunch of turning people. Instead we looked for a safer way to make it through the city. Ended up in us finding a tunnel that went around the residential area.” Ro nodded, though it didn’t seem like Ellis could really tell as he was mostly staring at nothing.

“That tunnel…” His voice grew more strained, hand balling up in the sheet under him. “I ever tell you guys how afraid of the dark I am?” 

“You? I don’t believe it for a second,” Coach said. He smiled so wide Ro thought his already bruised lips might tear. 

“Well, not just any dark. This tunnel, it was different. That kinda dark that makes everything go away, even sound. The moment we hit it it was like there was nothing. Just me, Nick, and a flashlight. Most of the infected were stuck in their cars, and the ones that weren’t never even saw us,” he stopped then, hand coming up to scratch at his temple. Coach knocked the hand down, earning a playful glare from the mechanic. “I was so- It was the worst thing I’ve ever done, going in that place. Scared me so bad I could barely walk. Nick said he was used to creeping around in the dark.”

Ro didn’t doubt that for a second. Something about Nick had struck her as dangerous from the start. His knowledge on things, his skillset. His attitude in general made her wonder just who it was they were traveling with.

_He’s got his secrets, but you have yours, too. No one is what they seem at first glance._

“If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have made it through. Especially not when the car alarms started going off. Every single one of them. Nick and I didn’t even have a chance to turn back, we just dove in the first car we seen and waited it out.” A steadying breath, then, and he let go of the sheet.

“Nick kept us both safe. Hid us down by the floor while the zombies ran towards whatever set them off.” Ro didn’t even want to picture it. The thought of being completely surrounded made her skin crawl.

“What did you do,” she asked, running her hand through his hair when it looked like he was going to freak out.

“We spent the whole day stuck in that tunnel. He kept telling me it was going to be okay, that we jus’ had to wait them out. A couple times I thought I was breathing so hard they’d hear me, but Nick-” His face turned pink. “Nick was a lot braver than me.”

“Well shit, if it were me I think I’d have a heart attack.” Ro elbowed him, shaking her head gently despite the grin forcing its way to her face.

“I was sure we weren’t gonna make it… Nick didn’t leave me, though. My guess is he thought about it, maybe not seriously, but he thought about it. Stayed with me, though. We were a team.” Ellis smiled, eyes closing as calm overtook him. “Me and him, the zombie killing team.” 

“Shut up, overalls,” Nick said from behind them, making Ro jump nearly a foot off the bed and stand so fast she felt she was at attention. She hadn’t heard the door open, but she wouldn’t be surprised if Nick heard everything.

“He-ey, there’s Slick Nick!” Ellis tried to sit up, searching over Coach’s shoulder for the man at the door. 

“Get some rest, kid. We’ll talk in the morning, alright?” Ellis smiled, giving up trying to hold himself up on his one arm and surrendering back into the bed. 

“Okay, Nick.” She didn’t miss the way Nick balled his hand into a fist, eyes looking everywhere but the mechanic. A blink and he was normal again, though, hand smoothed out against his side.

_When was the last time someone looked at you like that? When was the last time someone looked angry on your behalf?_

Ro shook the thought off, standing off the bed and going to sit in the chair by the window. Least she could do was keep watch. After all, she didn't think she'd be getting much sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

There was no point in keeping it, but the bullet was cold in his hands, and he found that a comfort. He held it, tucked it between his fingers, and stared for possibly too long at the little nightmare. Cold, but it hadn’t been when he pulled it out. So small, too, and yet it could end a life. If they hadn’t been so lucky, it might have.

How many times had he held a near fatal shot in his hands? How many times had he pulled one from his own flesh?

Dropping his hand, he turned his attention instead to the man laying next to him. Ellis and Coach had fallen fast asleep after the ordeal, both feeling the weight of traveling while injured. Coach’s burn’s were still causing him pain, but he didn’t complain.

Rochelle didn’t sleep. Didn’t even try, she seemed as determined to watch over the world as Nick was to watch over Ellis. Barely blinking she peered out the window with a look of despair in her eyes. Nick wondered which part of this shit situation she was thinking about, for her to look like that.

The two pointedly ignored each other, for the most part, neither willing to give up . Which, really, was fine by Nick as he could hardly tear his eyes away from Ellis. Every time he did he felt the bullet in his hand and saw Ellis falling to the ground again. Reliving it and marveling at how unlikely it all was, that no one came out more hurt.

He’d been listening to the little story from the bathroom, heard how Ellis remembered the events with fondness. With his gentle nature, Nick wasn’t all too surprised about this.. 

Because of it, Nick was sitting on the bed thinking about the tunnel as well. The tunnel and Ellis and the two of them pressed together in that car not knowing if they’d live or die or make it through the day.

Distantly, he remembered thinking he didn’t care either way for a short time. All he’d cared about was that his body had been right there, next to and on top of Ellis’.

* * *

“Keep up, kid,” he snapped, holding his gun at his side as they neared the entrance of the tunnel. It’d take them to the other side of the city, but he wasn’t at all looking forward to it. Especially when he looked back and found Ellis, his surprise tag along, lagging behind once more. “Ellis.”

“Sorry, I was jus’ thinking about all those zombies.” Nick sighed, putting his gun away and reaching into his jacket. The flashlight, small but efficient, was a last second grab of his while searching a gas station. He tossed it to Ellis.

“Don’t lose that.” Having caught it easily, Ellis looked down at the light and checked it, turning it back off to conserve the batteries. Already he was smiling again, stepping into place right beside Nick as they entered the seemingly endless darkness that curved ahead of them.

There were still quite a few cars parked along the road, some with infected in them and some empty. Nick wondered where the people had gone after leaving in such a hurry, but figured it was best not to dwell on it after seeing the blood dried on the window of a white car.

For what felt like the first hour they were just walking, each of them careful not to stray too close to the infected that gathered alongside the walls. Where Nick was simply measured in his caution, Ellis seemed to be struggling with every step, feet barely shuffling beside him. It was obvious he was terrified. 

It was that terror that made Nick realize, maybe for the first time ever, that he’d lived his entire life in the dark and dangerous. He’d always walked the edge between the world of thieves and wolves hiding in the dark and the world for people like Ellis. 

This realization came as a shock, though maybe it shouldn’t have, to Nick. All his life. Every moment, he’d been one of the wolves. Did that make Ellis the sheep, cowered at his side as they moved through the tunnel at Nick’s pace?

“Not too far now,” he whispered, hoping it’d speed the leery man up, if nothing else. It might’ve, if not for the sudden heart snatching sound of an alarm, blaring somewhere behind them. The tunnel lit up as other cars started to go off with it and he stood straight, head whipping around to find something, anything. 

He had just a second to think, no time at all really, but came to the conclusion that they had only one option fast. Grabbing Ellis, he pulled him low and opened the door to a nearby car, shoving him in the back.

The infected were disoriented, going after the alarms, so they didn’t notice as the door slammed shut. Ellis was already on the floor, eyes wide and chest rising and dropping in time with each flare of light. Every flash of hot orange and light yellow exposed his face in quick intervals, and not for the first time Nick felt like he was in a horror film.

The windows were dusty, filthy actually, and this definitely would help conceal them. Nick was for once grateful some people didn’t know what a car wash was.

“Stay low,” he instructed, climbing over Ellis and shielding him. The alarms would stop eventually, he hoped. “Don’t make a sound.”

“Nick,” he gasped, hands drawn up to block his ears against the noise and chaos of screeching infected and the panic inducing wailing of the vehicles. It was loud, awfully loud, but it was the only thing keeping them safe.

Ducking his head down, he pressed his forehead against Ellis’ and took a steadying breath. Just barely, he felt Ellis do the same. They breathed in together, eyes shut.

_ His breath is warm. He’s… warm. When was the last time you knew someone that radiated gentleness like him? _

“We’re fine. We’re going to be just fine. You and me, kid. We’re a team.” The two of them could fight if they had to. It wouldn’t be pretty, or easy, but Nick felt for the first time in days that he could do anything. He wasn’t sure if the confidence was out of necessity or blind courage at having someone rely on him.

The zombies were running for the end of the tunnel, flying past the windows and casting horrific shadows on them as they went. The flailing of their arms and heads in succession made them look far more than they were. Hundreds, perhaps. 

_ Too many. _

Even as they ran more came. The alarms continued to sound for hours, all the while drawing more and more infected. Whoever or whatever had decided to ring the dinner bell, Nick only hoped it was worth it.

Ellis was silent and still under him, hands bunched up in Nick’s shirt and eyes never leaving his face. Whenever Nick leaned back, Ellis followed, and wherever he laid down, so did he. They watched the flood of infected, eyes not once adjusting to the dark.

Nick didn’t have to adjust, though. Not when he could feel. And feel he did. The hands on him, fingers brushing against his skin when the car vibrated with the force of the infected around it. His arms, too. He felt them each time Ellis drew closer, pulling Nick down further.

... 

Not once did he consider leaving Ellis behind. 

* * *

“He’s going to be alright, right?” Nick glanced up, pulled out of the memory and his own jumbled thoughts. He’d been pondering over what would have happened if he’d leaned down just a little further that night.

_ If you’d captured his lips, taken his breath away and only given it back when the tunnel was safe. Would he have let that happen? _

The idea was fast slipping away under Ro’s gaze. She had turned her head to face him at some point, but was only looking at Ellis.

In truth, Nick wasn’t sure what would happen, or how to answer her. Ellis could wake up the next day, in pain but fine, or he could succumb to infection and die. Might not stay dead, either.

“Nick?” Sparing her just a glance, he looked back at Ellis as though he hadn’t heard her the first time.

“Yeah… Yeah, he’s going to be fine,” he chose to say, because if he said that enough times then maybe it’d hold true. 

_ Because you told him he would be fine. You told him you both would be. You can’t start slipping on that promise now. _

“It’s just, even under normal circumstances getting shot is-”

“He’ll be fine,” Nick repeated, leaning back against the headboard and shutting his eyes. He didn’t need this stress right now. Didn’t want to think or plan beyond the next hour. 

_ Because you don’t want to consider what happens if he gets sick. If you start planning for it, if you make up scenarios, it starts to sound manageable. You know it isn’t, though. None of it is remotely manageable. _

All he needed was a drink. Something that would put his nerves to sleep and kill the sound buzzing in his head. Instead, he found a few hours of restless sleep full of dread for the morning to come.

* * *

The next morning, the sun came up and warmed the air for a few brief minutes before falling under cloud cover. It looked like rain was coming. 

Ellis woke him up. At some point he’d turned in the night and pressed his hand gently against Nick’s arm, and the touch felt acidic after his relentless dreams of waking to find something not human waiting for him. Instead, Ellis looked... calm.

“ _ Hey. Nick _ . Ro says a storm s’ coming. Should we…” Though he didn’t ask, Nick could see what he was thinking on his face as he glanced back at the other two. While he watched Ro waking Coach up, Nick took a moment to think. Despite their plans, so carefully laid, Ro and Coach’s appearance changed things. 

Once more, he was presented with a choice. This one, he found, was a bit easier to make.

“Maybe we give this group thing a try,” he said quietly, watching Ellis turn so fast he had to catch him before he fell off the bed. His face had lit up impossibly bright, eyes no longer full of loneliness. 

“Really? But what about going west? Didn’t you want to go home?” Pushing him away, Nick sat up and pressed his face into his hand, drowsiness fading fast. They were laying together. In bed. That much was obvious and making it very difficult to remember things in a reasonable order.

“West can wait. Who knows, maybe things aren’t bad up there and they got this shitstorm under control already. We’ll give Ceda one last chance.” Ellis was grinning ear to ear, and Nick saw the embrace coming but didn’t have ample time to slide off the bed before arms were around him.

It was… certainly an experience. It’d been a long time since he’d touched someone for any purpose other than necessity or violence. Ellis was as warm as he remembered. 

Just as his hand started drifting down towards Ellis’ back, he backed away. 

“Come on, we’ll need to keep moving if we don’t want to get caught up in the rain.” He was sliding out of the bed, then, leaving Nick to hold his hand out in a moment of loss, fingers twitching. After a heavy sigh and too much effort, he was up too. 

Getting ready entailed very little, really. They hadn’t even bothered taking their shoes off. Too likely a horde might show up and they’d be caught off guard. Now, as they shouldered their guns and weapons, Nick was grateful for that.

Even if his body was starting to ache from the ill sleeping arrangements.

When he noticed Ellis trying to carry his bag on one shoulder, clearly struggling if the pain on his face was anything to go by, he took it off his hands. He didn’t give him a chance to argue against it.

“Everyone ready,” he asked Ro, who stood at the door with her axe. At her nod, he opened it, immediately feeling a misty chill in the air.

They set out into the folding grey, under the gathering clouds, none of them caring too much when the first drops of rain fell and began to wash away the horrors of the previous week.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies at end of chapter.

Ro kept a close eye on Coach and Ellis. She felt it was her responsibility, in a way. Her and Nick both. Coach kept a handle on his pain, didn’t show more than what was necessary, but Ellis was an open book. 

In fact, she wasn’t sure the kid even knew how to lie. If he did, she couldn’t picture him trying. Sure he may embellish his stories a bit, like most youthful boys do, but if he did it wasn’t by much.

Still, they were both doing their best to not slow down the group. Coach’s bandages helped ease the pain of moving, but she could see on his face every time they climbed through shop windows and over cars that it wasn’t easy. 

Ellis could walk fine, thankfully. He really made it a point to only reach out for Nick when they were going up ladders or jumping down from high places.

_Anything that stresses his back…_

In turn, Nick’s hand seemed to float up every time Ellis was within a foot of him. Almost as if he wanted to help, but wasn’t quite sure how. Their proximity had become more limited in the rush to get to the highway, but they still stuck close. Nick still refused to let anyone between them, straying closer if Ro or Coach drew near.

Close enough that Nick heard when Ellis grunted softly as he reached for the first rung of a latter leaning against a semi truck blocking the way. Coach wasn’t too thrilled about it either, and Ro wondered if they should stop.

She wished she could do something to help about i, but other than a bottle of painkillers they’d found she was at a loss. They could only take so many, and they only helped so much.

Nick was in a pissy mood, and she wondered if it was for that same reason. She wondered if it was why he didn't stray far from Ellis, even when infected would close in on them. Ellis’ bat hung at his belt, unused, and he used a gun instead. Small, like Nick’s own revolver.

The moment it appeared in his hands she’d made that distinction, and ever since the gun store, there’d been this look in Nick’s eyes every time he watched Ellis. Coach had no doubt noticed, perceptive as he seemed, but he and Ro didn’t comment. It wasn’t her place, or his, and Ellis clearly didn’t mind. 

“How bout that one,” he called, taking a step towards the car parked ahead. They’d been keeping to backways and alleys, uncrowded areas. If they were going to find CEDA it’d be a lot easier with a set of wheels. Or so Ellis had insisted several times. So far no luck.

Nick shook his head at the car, but Ro really had no clue what was wrong with it. Regardless, they moved on, still making their way to the two possible evac sites. Several times Nick had done that, and every time with no resistance. As easily as he could take the lead and be the one calling the shots, all he was inclined to do was stand guard and make quips. 

He was a natural leader. Someone who could take the reigns and give them stability. Ro resented him almost for keeping things balanced and letting her lead half the time.

“Look there,” Coach called, nudging Ro and Nick. Ahead of them the road came out onto the highway, meaning they were getting close. It also meant no more back roads. Ellis pulled his head out of a popped hood, curious.

They were one step closer... Ro’s feet started to hurt.

* * *

Coach’s burns were still hindering his movement, as well as Ellis’ gunshot wound. The two were as energetic as ever again as their travels eased into less fighting and more walking, at least. They could shoot remarks back and forth faster than anyone Ro had seen, and Ellis bounded around endlessly. 

It was comforting, listening to it. Like tuning into a radio, she’d focus her attention on them when things got too quiet. Ellis never ran out of things to say, and Coach never ran out of points to make.

“You know, I still don’t trust CEDA,” Nick told her quietly, eyes barely lifting off of Ellis’ back a few feet ahead of them. “What kind of insurance do we have that they’ll even let us in?”

“We’re obviously not infected, I think there's a good chance they’ll let us in,” she said confidently. CEDA gave her this opportunity, they’d look after her. And she’d look after these three. Maybe if there were still strings to pull…

_There are no strings. You’ll be lucky if there are even dredges of CEDA left by the time you find them._

“Fine. I said I’d give them another chance and I wasn’t lying, but how do we even find them? They could have gone anywhere by now.” Anywhere in the world if they had the right transportation. Ro wondered if there was an island somewhere completely safe. Maybe somewhere the zombies couldn’t reach.

_You know that isn’t likely, though. The sick were traveling everywhere in the weeks before this, no one believed it’d get this bad. You didn’t think it’d get this bad, did you Ro?_

“Ellis saw the chopper go down at the mall, we go there." Ellis froze up entirely at both his name being mentioned and the way the conversation was going.

"Hold up, I'm not sure we should be basing our next plan any o' that! Like I said, coulda' been the hospital... Maybe not even there, though, I've never been that far into the city!" The fear in his voice, panic almost, was entirely due to the possibility that he was wrong on all accounts. Ro could tell by the way he desperately looked for someone to validate his words, to correct him if need be.

"Does it matter? We'll decide when the time comes, not like we need to worry about it yet." Ro stopped in her tracks. 

"I’m not so sure, Nick." They looked up, Ellis drawing his wandering attention to the split in the road before them. Nick turned to look where she'd gestured, expression turning sour.

"What," he snapped. His eyes landed on the fork in the road, one path taking them down the exit, to the plaza where the mall was. The hospital was straight ahead.

“Guess we gotta decide now,” Ro said, turning to look at Nick. “We either try the hospital, or the mall.”

“Oh, that is really a tough call, cause ya’ see I can’t even be sure if that’s exactly where the bird was goin’ down and-”

“Ellis,” Nick interrupted, quiet but commanding. “You’re the only one who worked in the city, even if for a short time. Where do you think it landed?”

“We trust you son,” Coach added, glancing at Ro to let her know to nod. 

“We do!” Their faith in him helped, seemingly. He took a shaky breath, looking between the options. So terrified of letting them down.

“I think… I think the hospital,” he said almost all in one breath, the words rushing out of him. Nick seemed pleased enough just to have an answer. 

“I guess it makes sense. Big building, lots of supplies. Alright, I second it.” With Coach’s silent affirmation, they geared off towards the hospital, Nick putting his hand at the bottom of Scout’s back. Ro pointedly did not stare.

“Good job.” Ellis smiled pleasantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, SO, incredible sorry that this chapter is late! My trip to the clinic ended in a trip to the hospital (no worries, it wasn't serious) and these past few days I've been feeling the weight of everything much worse than usual. 
> 
> I'm sorry if that's affected my writing in any way, I've tried to focus the Bad Thoughts to other projects so that this one wouldn't suffer.
> 
> Your's,
> 
> ~Jah


	9. Chapter 9

“You owe me thousands,” Nick said, standing over the trio of men, each sweating as they glanced among themselves. “How about we discuss how you plan to pay me back.”

_ They’re scum. Not even worth your time, if it weren’t for that debt they’re carrying... _

“We have some of it now! Just give us a week, one week,” a man who looked alarmingly like a rat said. Clearly he’d been brought for protection, but he wasn’t a professional. 

Nick shook his head, tired and annoyed. ‘Some’ could mean a little, it could mean nothing, so he gestured to his “friends” to take the duffel they carried with them. Nick crouched down, pulling open the bag without letting his eyes leave the man.

“This buys you until the end of the week,” he said, standing up and letting his men take the money inside. “I don’t work for free, so if you don’t pay up by then-”

“We’ll have it, I swear,” the rat man promised, scooting away from him as he advanced. Nick liked to think he could be a real terrifying guy, when the situation called for it.

“Oh I know you will. I know you will.” He settled down, reaching out slowly to run his thumb over the cut on the man’s chin. “Because if you don’t pay me my money back by Saturday, I’m going to start taking body parts for compensation. That just gets messy for all of us, doesn’t it?” A blip of sirens made him stand up straight, gesturing to the door. “Take the money inside.”

“We’ll have it,” the man babbled, looking at his two bodyguards for help, or Nick assumed they were bodyguards, anyway. 

“You better," he said, fixing his sleeves and brushing them off. He hated doing business in filthy places like this.

“Nicolas, they’re looking for you in the front,” Bart, or was that Brad, said, poking his head out the heavy door. "Couple of cops, asking questions about our guest ledger."

“Fine, just tell them I’ll be there in a minute.” When Nick looked back down, Rat Man was long gone. He turned and went back inside, pulling his tie free to loosen his collar. 

He really needed a vacation.

* * *

Nick tore his eyes away from the cop car, forgetting exactly why he’d been looking in the first place. Him and cops never got along, but that night wasn’t likely to slip from his memory for a long time. In a lot of ways, it marked a change in his life.

A change just like someone else marked, Nick thought to himself. Quickly he scanned the road for Ellis, finding him poking through a broken window of a bakery, leaning over sharp glass.

“Careful,” he called, returning to his side and making a mental note to not get lost in thought again. The window was still jagged and pointy, broken pieces of it ready to cut anything it touched. 

“What?” Ellis looked up, pulling his hand out and pretending he hadn’t been combing through the mess of glassy dust.

“You hungry?” Felt kind of stupid, asking. They were all hungry. As soon as they reached the hospital they could stop and rest. 

“I’m okay. Well, I  _ am  _ kinda hungry, but we just ate so I think I’ll be good in a minute.” Nick had been feeling just about the same. Stomach almost empty, body complaining…

_ Bet you wish you’d cracked open the last vending machine, huh? Stupid, Nick, real stupid.  _

“Well, we’re almost there. How about you and me take a breather, find some food, then.” If CEDA is there they may have rations ready. What he wouldn’t give for some real food.

“That sounds good to me,” Ellis said, bumping into Nick playfully. Nick slipped his arm around him instinctively. If he had a problem with it, he didn’t say so or act like it. Nick let himself smile, just barely.

They walked like that for a while, Ellis tucked under his arm and chatting away about  _ everything _ . Their surroundings, Ro’s shooting, Coach’s taste in music, his life and previous job. It helped distract him, Nick thought, from the growling stomach and the aching back and the sore feet. It helped distract Nick, at least. 

Whereas before he’d been thinking about the red lines forming at his heel from the hot pavement they tread along, now he was just thinking about Ellis’ voice. When he was more excited his voice grew more southern and harder to understand, and when he was lost in thought it got soft, quiet. The longer he was able to hold a conversation, the softer it got.

Nick did his best to pay attention, offering back words of encouragement for when Ellis took a break to breathe. Every now and then he’d lose track, though, and only pay mind to the different tones. 

_ He’s telling you his whole life story in a matter of seconds. You wouldn’t even begin to know where to start, would you? He’s actually got a way with words, in that regard. _

His favorite part was the soft, the quiet mumbling, Ellis did when he was fully lost in his own mind. Nick felt it was his truest voice, solely because he’d almost immediately speak over  _ himself  _ after realizing what he’d said.

* * *

“Hey Nick,” Ellis called, gaining his attention immediately with that always too sweet voice. Nick was at his side in an instant, abandoning the overturned car on the highway. 

“What’s wrong?” Ellis looked up at Ro and Coach, watching them curiously, and they turned away. 

“I just wanted to say thank you. I never did, after you went and fixed me up.” Nick glanced down at his hands, clean now of blood, and tried not to grimace.

“Just forget it happened, alright? Unless it’s bothering you. Does it hurt?” He couldn’t shake the worry away any more than he could change who he was. Ellis was under his wing, now, and that meant he wasn’t letting  _ anything  _ go unnoticed.

“A little. I’m fine, though, honest.” It wasn’t that Nick didn’t believe him, because he  _ did  _ trust him, but he knew Ellis was in pain. It was habit, perhaps, that the southerner brushed it off. “We’re almost there now, I can handle it.”

“Tell me if it gets worse. I’ll have to check it again soon anyway to make sure it’s not infected.” The last thing any of them needed was for one of them to get sick or weaker, and the last thing he wanted was to pull Ellis’ shirt up and find his skin dying or inflamed.

“I will. Promise.” And Nick may not be one for promises, never was, but coming from Ellis he found he believed him. He’d still check for himself, to be sure, but he believed him for now.

“Guys,” Coach said, snapping their attention to the front. Ro was standing in the middle of the turn off, sheepishly gesturing to the cluster of medical buildings behind her. The hospital itself was covered in CEDA warnings, signs. 

“We’re here,” she said, eyes hopeful and smiling excitedly. 

The hospital was, at a glance, isolated and quiet. Ellis worried, briefly, that this meant he’d chosen wrong. If this wasn’t where the helicopter landed and he’d directed them here, he would be solely responsible for their demise.

_ Deep breaths, dummy. You haven’t even seen the inside, yet, remember? _

They didn’t have to stop him from reaching haphazardly for the door this time, because he couldn’t bring himself to open it. Ro went first instead, Coach guarding her rear and Nick bringing Ellis at his side. 

He didn’t know what he expected. Lights, cots, nurses running around helping people. Instead the entire floor had been cleared of everything, shelves, beds, chairs, and the few lights still working flickered ominously above them. The elevator was blocked off, the doors were taped and nailed shut. Ellis felt his heart start to break.

“Look, the signs,” Coach called, heading for the center stairs. CEDA had definitely been there. Several arrows directing them to the second floor, a loft that was barely visible above them. Other signs contained guidelines for the sick, directions to help centers. It  _ was  _ an evacuation site!

“Follow them,” Ro shouted, taking the stairs two, and three, at a time. The rest followed her, Nick seeming to take Ellis’ hand unconsciously. It reminded him of the last stairs they’d been on, closed in with smoke filling his lungs. 

This time there was no smoke, just dread and nervousness, excitement and hope. He did his best to keep up, teeth clenched shut as his back ached and pulled tight with every step. Ro didn’t stop when she reached the top, skidding out of sight and already shouting for help.

“Just a few more,” Coach promised, hitting the last step and stopping entirely, frozen. Nick had to catch him and pull him aside before he barreled into the man. Before Ellis could ask what the deal was Nick was shutting his eyes, his head turned away.

Ellis smelled it before he saw it, gagging reflexively.

Bodies. They were piled in every corner, limbs hanging over the poor people under them as if they’d just been tossed on top without a care. Unlike the infected, which continued to bleed and smelled more like blood than anything, the entire floor smelled of rot and death.

The lights weren’t flickering up here, though. Every horrible detail was lit up in white, sterile light, offering them the best view of the graveyard of horrors. The floors were brown, streaked in dried blood, and insects crawled and buzzed around them like crazy. 

For a creeping moment it felt like they were landing on him, brushing against him with the same tiny little insect bodies that had been eating away at the dead. It was too much.

He had to turn away, what little bit of food in him coming up and splattering the stairs in violent orange and yellow. It wasn’t pretty, and it certainly didn’t make it smell better. 

Nick caught him, one arm circling under his stomach for support as he bent over and dry heaved. He was crying, he realized.

“Shh, it’s alright El,” he whispered, pulling Ellis close. His jacket hid some of the stench and blanketed him, which helped, but the sight of every tortured, terrified face he’d seen threatened to make him wretch out his own stomach. He wasn’t hungry anymore, at least.

“They  _ killed everyone _ ,” he gasped out, clutching Nick tightly as the realization hit him. He heard Coach speaking, talking to Nick and Ro, but the words were distant, garbled. The only thing he could really understand was something like the wind in his ears, drowning out all other sound.

It was a good thing Nick had a hold of him, because Ellis chose right then to completely black out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I promise I've already written most of the next chapter! This one WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE SO LONG TO FINISH IT WAS JUST AGHHHHHHHH H
> 
> I'm sorry...

Ro didn’t blame Ellis for his reaction. Not when she almost emptied her guts all over the floor as well. It was disgusting. It was- it was awful.

“Get him downstairs,” Coach directed, helping Nick haul Ellis over his shoulders. Coach stayed upstairs with her, eyes returning to the mounds of horror around them. It was… a massacre. 

“God, they’ve been butchered,” Ro whispered, noticing the bloodied arms and throats. It looked like they’d been dragged from all over the room to the piles. How many people did it take to kill all of them so brutally? 

_They probably wouldn’t even have questioned a group of well armed guards. Not if they were led to believe it was because of the infected outside. They could be herded together and gunned down at alarming rates..._

“Cover your face,” Coach offered, holding his collar over his nose as if that’d hide the overwhelming stench surrounding them. It burned her nose with every breath. 

The lights flickering made it hard to walk around the pools of blood, but she made it to the only corner of the room not filthy. It was a desk labeled Flu testing. It appeared real enough, at first glance, but as she examined the crates behind it she knew it was just for looks.

“They killed them all,” she said, covering her mouth as the real horror set in. “They brought them all here, promised to help them. It was all some kind of… trick?" 

"We don't know that," Coach argued, swiveling the chair around and opening some of the folders on the desk. There was no real useful information, nothing they could use. Just lists of names. Stacks of them, hundreds of them. He grimaced and set it down, but Ro opened it back up.

Had they even separated the healthy and sick before turning on them? Had they even tested them first? She pulled a white bag from one of the blue bottle crates, ripping it open. Inside were paper strips, like the ones for testing the pH level of a liquid. She spit on it, but instead of turning color the sides began to curl in. She didn't think these were for testing acids or bases...

She looked back to the folder, glancing over some of the names with an ache in her chest. 

_That could have held your name in it if you got here sooner. You told your family you'd be down here. They probably all think you're dead._

“There’s nothing useful here.” He looked like he wanted to disagree, but the wet footprints and smell made him think otherwise and he didn’t say anything. Ro turned away, hiding her face in her shirt as she headed for the stairs. Coach closed the folder on the desk, whispering a quiet apology to the victims in the room.

* * *

Nick’s heart was racing in his chest as he tore through the street. The distant sound, not distant enough, of yelling was the only motivation he needed to keep going as his feet grew tired and his lungs sore. 

He didn’t remember why they were angry, why they were chasing him. Probably something to do with his wife’s unhealthy spending habits… Whatever the case, he’d never moved so fast in his life. 

The determination was entirely born of first hand knowledge as to what would happen if they caught him and he didn’t have the money. He wasn’t too interested in waking up in the hospital with broken bones, or worse, damaged hands.

_Alley ahead. Turn down it and you’ll lose them faster._

Moments like this, where pure adrenaline was the only thing keeping him going, were what he lived for. Not the money, or the gambling, but the _chase._ No distractions, no nagging from his bitch of a wife, just the sound of his own breathing and the hard proof that he was alive in the moment.

Until the day he hit the wall...

* * *

Nick set Ellis down on the floor, it was really the only option, and propped him against the wall to let the blood return to his head. He looked awful, dark circles under his eyes that were more visible when he was sitting still.

Maybe they shouldn’t have pressed forward so hard. Sure they were in a hurry because of the helicopter, but if this was all that had been waiting for them it wasn't worth the strain it clearly put on each of them. The nightmare upstairs wasn’t what he’d been expecting, but he couldn’t help the feeling that he should have-

“Nick…” Shutting his rambling thoughts down, he tilted Ellis’ head up gently. His eyes were still closed, but he seemed to be waking up. All this stress, the low food and constant walking, the sudden shock at finding the butcher shop upstairs, it was no wonder someone had finally fainted.

_You can’t catch a break, can you?_

“I’m here, El. Do you need some water?” Coach had Ellis’ bag, though… Nick sighed and pulled the half empty bottle he’d been carrying with him out of his pocket. He flicked the lid, not even bothering to stop him from skidding across the floor. “Come on, drink up.”

Ellis accepted the water, almost choking but stopping himself probably on the basis that any water he spit out would be a waste. Nick drank what was left and tossed it.

When he looked down Ellis was trying to gather his thoughts, taking deep breaths.

“Nick… CEDA isn’t-”

“I saw. We couldn’t have known, El.” Why the fuck had Nick let them come here. Ellis didn't need to see that, he shouldn't have _had_ to see that. 

_So many bodies. Just like old times, but worse, right Nick? Ellis... Ellis probably hasn't seen even half that much bloodshed._

The bodies weren’t that old, but it was obvious the helicopter hadn’t landed here. Must have gone to the mall, after all. A small nod and a move to get up were the only reply he got. Ellis winced as he put his palm against the floor, though, stopping.

“My back hurts,” he mumbled, and Nick cursed himself for forgetting about the bullet he’d _just_ dug out of him. He helped him up, keeping an arm around him in case he took another dive.

“Better,” he asked once they were both standing. It probably wasn’t better.

_He’s injured. He’s been injured this whole time and you’ve just been tossing him around like a bag of apples. Nice one, Nick._

“Mmm.” If not for the pleased tone of his voice, pained expression melting away, Nick would have snorted. 

“Good.” It wasn’t that Nick was worried- he was, but he wouldn’t just admit that- but Ellis still looked incredibly pale, no doubt from traveling in the rain and losing quite a bit of blood previously. The storm they’d noticed when they left the hotel seemed to be gathering outside now, bringing cooler air, and he wouldn’t be surprised if they had to seek shelter. 

After this ordeal, he could almost welcome sleeping in one of the corpse riddled places around them.

 _It_ would _be a welcome change to the constant walking. You could do with putting your feet up for one night._

“Where’s Rochelle and Coach?” Nick looked at the stairs, glancing briefly up at the second floor railing above them. He wasn’t taking Ellis back up there, obviously.

“They’re just looking around. Won’t be long.” he said, hoping he was right. There wasn’t anything but death up there, surely they’d be down soon. If not, he’d just leave them here. Take Ellis and find somewhere warmer to rest. 

West was starting to sound better by the second. Ellis would like his house...

Ro was the first to come back, much to his surprise. She took one look at Ellis hanging off his arm and made for the door. Coach came down the stairs two at a time, following after her. 

_She’s upset. Looks like there really wasn’t anything good up there._

“Shit.” Keeping Ellis carefully glued to his side, Nick followed after them, a string of curses following after the first. It isn’t that he was expecting CEDA to be here, he’d already figured it wouldn’t be that easy, but he wanted to get out of here just as much as everyone else. The only thing his constant pessimism got him was _more_ disappointment. 

_Still better than whatever she’s feeling. You don't wanna feel that._

“She look kinda mad to you,” Ellis asked with a wince, dropping his shoulder when it lifted too high. Coach and Rochelle were talking, arms flying around with more animation than Nick currently had the energy to process.

_She’s pissed. So are you, though, you’re just a lot better at hiding it._

“I don’t know, maybe. Come on, let's get you somewhere dry.” They couldn’t stay in the hospital. Not when that... mess was right above them. As he passed by Coach he tapped him on the shoulder, taking Ellis’ bag off him. 

“Storms getting worse. There's some apartments in the city, we should head there now before we get caught in it.” He nodded, turning back to Ro with a tired sigh. She agreed with a sharp nod, however reluctantly, and they turned from the hospital with far less supplies than they expected. “Alright, come on. Already almost dark and if we have to walk in the rain and the dark no one’s gonna be too happy.”

Rochelle gave the hospital one final look, full of guilt, before joining them. 

* * *

Somehow the shorter walk to the apartments was worse than the whole walk down the highway from the gun store. They made do once the rain kicked up, a small wind coming behind them and speeding up the journey. 

All it really did was make Ro shiver and Ellis’ teeth chatter. Nick could share his jacket with Ellis, and Coach huddled closer to Rochelle, but the only comfort they’d find would be when they made it inside somewhere safe. Already he worried some of them would get sick. 

The streets were mostly empty, infected disappearing from the rain as if it bothered them just as much. Any stragglers were put down quietly to keep it that way. 

It was a few silent minutes into walking when he realized his clothes were being washed. Nick was slightly grateful that his suit was _almost_ white again, however torn up and frayed it’d become. 

Ellis’ shirt, on the other hand, was stained red and bleeding with each drop. It made his hands itch to check the wound on his back and arm, heart clenching at the thought that he’d managed to tear the gunshot wound or that it’d become infected. At least he seemed more at ease. Several times he wanted to reach out and just _touch_ , just feel him. He didn't, hands fisted tightly at his side.

Coach looked better, too. He was still limping, hand coming up to hold his chest every now and then, but he was keeping up with Rochelle’s angry pace well enough.

 _Need to hit a drugstore, a pharmacy,_ **_something_ ** _. They’re both going to be in pain for weeks, months maybe. Least you can do is help ease it._

They happened to luck out and pass a few vending machines and shops, but most were empty or destroyed. They used spare change they’d collected while walking to buy every bit of food they could, getting some soda and water as well. Not the healthiest diet plan, but they’d live. Happily if Ellis’ quiet cheers were anything to go by as he shoved bag after bag into his backpack.

As he went to put it back over his shoulder he spasmed, dropping it. Nick noticed and snatched it up, slinging it over his own shoulder. It was one thing to lug it around when it was clearly too heavy, but he couldn’t let him carry it while he was hurt. They really needed more bags so this wouldn’t be an issue anymore.

When they came upon the apartments, finally, Nick’s only focus was immediately getting inside and drying himself and Ellis off. He didn’t even pay mind to what was on the streets, herding in the group and barricading the door behind them with a table and some armchairs from the lobby. 

Most of the windows had been boarded up already. The ones that weren’t got blocked off like the door with anything they could find. 

They secured the building floor by floor, choosing to stay higher up to avoid being heard from the street by wandering infected. Nick knew they didn’t need the attention of a horde right now. 

The zombies still inside were killed stealthily, bodies deposited in a storage closet. It wasn’t exactly pretty, but it’d do for now.

Some of the homes had dead bodies in them. Nick grimaced at the first few corpses, some violently strewn about, others peacefully holding each other. Those ones they shut tight and avoided, returning to the third floor and picking a relatively cleaner apartment with less obvious signs of death. No blood on the walls, no packed luggage or things thrown around as if someone left in a hurry.

Just an apartment, perfectly preserved in all it’s averageness. 

_Preserved were the memories of whoever made it their home. You’re just borrowing. Nothing wrong with that._

Nick shut the door to the hall outside, locking it for good measure.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOOHOO I ADD CHAPTER, YES?   
> Enjoy this one you little goblins, it's longer and has a fun little scene at the end ;)   
> Leave comments, they flatter me and make me more likely to hand over my pretty words!

Ellis stumbled further into the apartment, leaving Rochelle and Coach to talk quietly in the main room. He sensed they were both very upset and could use some time to themselves. He didn’t really blame them, though…

They trusted him. Nick, Coach, even Ro; they all trusted him to make the right call. The hospital seemed like the right choice, it was  _ right there _ ! He should never have said anything back on the roof… His eyes were messed up and he couldn’t have been seeing right. How could he ever make something like that up to them…

_ You messed up bad this time Ellis. No one’s gonna trust you ever again!  _

Ellis shivered, then, both at the thought and the cold that rocked through him. The rain hadn’t let up outside, worsening just as they made it to the lobby. Everyone was soaked, though Ellis had actually been sheltered a bit by Nick towering over him the whole time.

As much as he’d tried to deny it, Nick definitely had a soft spot for him. Not that he minded, seeing as how the two of them just clicked. Maybe he even trusted Nick more than Ro and Coach…

_ Nick knows stuff. He didn’t mind none when you were holding onto him in the tunnel, or in the gun store. He’s been nice to you, relatively.  _

He passed Nick in the hallway, jumping slightly when he tugged him into a room. Something soft fell over his head, a towel, and he felt himself being guided forward while he reached up to pull it off his face.

“Here, take this off.” He lifted the towel, confused, and dropped it in embarrassment as Nick reached for his shirt. 

“Um, are you sure that’s- Nick, this looks like an old ladies room, I don’t think we should...” His face felt hotter, suddenly, when dexterous fingers caught the hem of his shirt despite his wiggling and pulled it over his head. Before he could react, Nick had turned him and was pressing his hand down just above his sore back.

“We need new bandages for this. How does it feel? You in pain?” Oh. Oh! His face grew even warmer. 

“It’s fine! Well, little sore actually, but that don’t bother me.” He dropped his shirt on the bed, falling into it with absolutely no grace. His back, in a strange mix of pleasure and pain, had never felt better than it did then. 

“Hey, take it easy alright? It's bad enough you’ve not gotten a chance to take a break since I took that bullet out, don’t start stressing it.” The bed dipped next to him and Ellis held his breath as a hand ran through his curls. It had been a long time since anyone had done that. Highschool, maybe… 

He heard his bag zip open and realized Nick was going to redo his bandages right  _ now _ . He bit into his lip, remembering the pain of having the bullet pulled free, of having woken up dizzy and hungover and sore. No pain came, though, and Nick was careful reapplying the wrappings over a square of sterile gauze. 

_ Nick’s always making you feel so comfortable. He hasn’t gotten a chance to rest either, though… _

“Nick, are you okay?” The hand soothing down the bandages stopped for a few seconds. “You said it yourself, we’ve been going nonstop since the hotel. Are you- do you need anything?”

“I’m fine, El. Come on, let's just get some sleep.” Ellis was rolled, gently, over to make room. Nick’s arms came around him the moment he was situated behind him, brushing the bed off with a sigh. 

For a moment, full of shock, Ellis couldn’t move. When he regained some thought process, he wasn’t sure what to say, or do. For one, Nick was sleeping fully clothed, and for the other, Ellis was pressed so tightly against him he could feel the buckle of his pants.

“Nick?” It wasn’t that he was going to object. Not when the warmth coming off him made Ellis feel safer than he had in months, but he hadn’t figured him for the type to be so clingy.

“What is it?” It didn’t matter. Not really.

“Uh, thanks… For today? Goodnight.” 

* * *

Nick had to quell the urge to breathe too deeply or too loudly every time Ellis stirred in his arms. It had taken him a while to fall asleep, but once he did he seemed to completely relax. 

At first Nick worried he wasn’t comfortable. Maybe he wasn’t used to sleeping next to another, or maybe he was just hurting, either way he didn’t want to risk waking him up. Carefully, he adjusted the pillow under his head to better watch Ellis’ face.

_ He’s got his nose scrunched up, looks vaguely happy. A good dream, then. You could use one of those. _

The looks melted away and Ellis tensed, one arm jerking. He was in pain still. Whether he was just good at hiding it or good at ignoring it, Nick wasn’t sure, but he wished he could do  _ something _ to help. If he had to, he’d go hunt down a pharmacy.

Ellis hadn’t lived the easiest life, clearly, had his fair share of scars, and he didn’t deserve any new ones. Didn’t deserve any pain, at least…

_ He’s told you so much about himself. Story after story. You probably know more about him than your ex. _

The thought came out of nowhere really. Ellis was nothing at all like Charlene. She was a bitch, for one. All fake nice smiles and boring conversation. She had a knack for telling him just enough to make it seem like honesty. 

Ellis, though- Ellis was a gem. An honest to god angel. He wasn’t mean or pessimistic like Nick, and he wasn’t chirpy or forcefully nice like Rochelle. He had faults, sure, everyone has those, but for the life of him Nick couldn’t remember what they were.

He… talked a lot? Nick loved that, though. It could turn an impossibly quiet day into a normal one, with how much he talked. 

He wasn’t dumb, either. Sure he had a strange naivety to him, almost willful ignorance, but that came in handy when the world was all but dead around you. Even after a fucking zombie apocalypse and being shot, Ellis still bounced back.

So much had happened in one day that might change that, though, and just in the past week. CEDA was killing people. Killing infected, healthy, everyone. He’d overheard Ro and Coach discussing the tests, the names. He couldn’t help but wonder if they were all infected, and if so if they were all targets.

If not all of them, especially Ellis. He’d been the most exposed to Nick’s knowledge, lying bleeding in a street after being held at gun point by… by whatever the fuck that man was.

_ Maybe he was just some sicko who knew he was going to turn. Maybe he was just crazy. _

It didn’t matter. Ellis was healthy still, infected or not, and now that Nick knew what CEDA was really up to, they weren’t getting within 100 miles of those fuckers. When the storm stops and they leave, they’ll have to find a new plan, choose somewhere new to go.

If that means finally going their own way without Coach and Ro, then so be it. 

Nick shut his eyes, retreating to easier thoughts in the hopes that he’d sleep half decent tonight. 

* * *

The day started a bit impractically. Ellis woke up, in a clean bed for once, and acting on autopilot went in search of a bathroom. Nick was asleep, one arm under his head and the other resting on Ellis’ thigh until he slid away.

He was quiet as he looked, worried Ro or Coach might wake up if he opened the doors too loudly. After the day they’d had, they deserved some rest. Not like they were in a hurry currently.

Ellis had to pee, though, so he found the bathroom and relieved himself with a sigh. 

As he was pulling his pants up he glanced over at the bath, curiously. Tiptoeing to it, he hoped this wasn’t one of those areas that the water got turned off in. 

As he turned the handle, anxiously looking back at the cracked door, he heard the pipes begin to fill and shut it off in shock.

“We found water,” he whispered to himself, uncertainly. Turning around, he lightly jogged back to the bedroom, excitement rolling off him now. Nick grumbled something as he hopped into the bed, swatting him away as he shook his shoulder.

Frowning, he gave him another shake, this time getting a glare. Nick didn’t look happy in the mornings, even after sleeping in what could now be considered luxury. Ellis kind of figured him to be a morning type. Maybe the kind of person to get up and go for a run or hit the gym.

_ Not that he'd admit to that. _

“Ellis, why in god’s name are you waking me up?” He bit his lip to keep from smiling, leaning in closely.

“I was just wondering if you wanna take a bath,” he said, bouncing now. Nick raised an eyebrow, confused and tired.

“A what?” Ellis pulled him up, then, which was no small feat seeing as how he offered no help getting out of bed.

“I got up to go to the bathroom and got to thinking looking at the tub. It  _ works  _ Nick! Come look!” He dragged him quietly down the hall, spying Coach laying on the couch asleep. He pushed the door open and shut it quietly behind them.

“This thing works,” Nick asked in disbelief. He turned the handle over the faucet and after a second water kicked out, splattering the bottom of the tub loudly. He turned it back off, looking up at Ellis with an unreadable expression.

“See! Actual running water, Nick!” Of course, seeing as how it wasn’t being pumped or filtered anymore, it would probably run out eventually.  _ Eventually _ . They could have water for days, weeks maybe.

“I am so going to soak in this for at least an hour,” Nick practically purred, stripping his shirt off. Ellis became suddenly aware of the fact that he was also shirtless, and now they both were, in a tiny little room. Alone. 

“Right, I guess I should probably go wake Coach and Ro, while you do that.” He turned to go, cheeks feeling very warm in the cold little room, but an arm snaked around his waist.

“Or, you can join me.” And suddenly the room didn’t feel so cold anymore. Ellis, nervously, tried to formulate a response to that. Did he want to take a bath with Nick? Is that something he could do? He’d taken baths and showers with Keith when they were younger up until Ellis moved to the city for work. It was never something weird between them, though. Not that taking a bath with  _ Nick _ would be weird!

“Okay,” he said, stupidly to spite that exact train of thought. Nick let him go, turning back to the bath to fill it up. Maybe this would help, actually. 

_ You might stop feeling nervous thinking about him throwing his jacket off and saving your life and pulling you against his chest and- _

“Ellis? You gonna take your clothes off or you just gonna stand there staring at the wall all day?” Nick was already peeling his fancy white pants off. While he folded them on the sink, Ellis turned away and slowly tugged his down, thinking about anything other than the brief glimpse he’d just caught as Nick reached for the top of his underwear. 

Why was he so toned? Even Ellis only had a bit of calf and upper arm muscle from work, but with Nick it’s like he’d actually bothered to balance it all out. Strong legs, strong chest, strong arms. 

_ This is another one of those lines of thoughts that you best not be finishing, Ellis.  _

He didn’t have the body of a trainer, but he was  _ fit _ . Ellis suddenly felt a little self conscious as he shimmied out of his underwear. What if Nick was staring at him right now? 

As he turned back to the bath he thought he might be facing him, but he was facing the tub, one foot in to test the temperature. An odd mix of disappointment and relief raced through him.

He waited until Nick hopped in, making room for him, before he carefully slid in as well. The tub was wide, and he laid his feet next to Nick’s hip and leaned back, pleased to find the water was warm.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good in my life,” he said, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Nick moved, sending ripples in the water that lapped at his chest. Ellis wanted to dip down and submerge himself completely, but the water felt too good on his aching back to risk moving.

“I didn’t know I’d miss warm water so much,” Nick answered. Ellis opened his eyes, peeking at Nick curiously. He had his arms behind his head and was relaxed against the back of the tub, watching him. Ellis grew flushed.

Embarrassment was nothing new, but there was something in Nick’s eyes as he watched him that made Ellis feel vulnerable and open. Once again, it felt like he was missing something very important. 

“How does your back feel?” It was a simple enough distraction, one that Nick presented with ease despite the tension. Clearly he found his reaction to be stared at amusing.

“It kinda hurts, actually.” How Nick’s mood could shift so fast was beyond him, but suddenly he was leaning forward and pulling Ellis up. 

“Let me see. Has it been hurting this whole time?” Ellis found himself sitting facing away from him, pressed between his legs while he unwound the bandages from last night. He tossed them at the sink, fingers brushing over Ellis’ back lightly. 

_ He’s like a mother hen. Worrying over you and taking care of you. He’d be a good doctor, probably. _

If Nick heard that thought he’d probably strangle him or something. Maybe it’s best that he kept it to himself

“Ellis?” He leaned back, unintentionally falling against Nick’s chest in an attempt to meet his gaze. 

“Oh! Sorry,” he reached for the side of the tub but strong arms came around him just like before, stopping him. He was starting to realize it was Nick’s own way of asking that he stay.

“It’s fine.” His voice rarely got that soft, that gentle. It made Ellis shut his eyes, body completely relaxed now. Moving his hands away from the side, Ellis traced a line down Nick’s arm, thoughts wandering. 

_ You could probably fall right back to sleep like this. Wonder what time it is… Not like things like that really matter too much anymore, but still. Early? The storm probably hasn’t passed, but it looked really dark through the window out there. Early, then. _

Nick moved, then, shifted further into the water, and Ellis unthinkingly moved with him, laying back comfortably. When he realized what he’d done he took a shaky breath. They really shouldn’t be doing this, probably. 

Doing what, though? Sharing a bath? Cuddling? Ellis firmly believed that friends were allowed to be close, after all he and Keith were. But Keith was his friend from the time they were born… and he didn’t get all twisted up inside when he thought about him like he did when he thought about Nick.

Maybe he was just tired and overthinking things. He closed his eyes once more, head rolling a bit to get more comfortable. This wasn’t the time to stress out, not when they might not have the chance to relax like this again for a while. 

By the time he realized he was falling asleep, it was too late to do anything about it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! WARNING!
> 
> PLEASE NOTE WARNING BELOW IF YOU ARE SOFT HEARTED, TRIGGERED EASILY, OR ARE SQUEAMISH!
> 
> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF GORE, VIOLENCE, AND GROSS STUFF!
> 
> Enjoy this chapter :)

Nick carried Ellis back to bed. Luckily Rochelle and Coach were still completely asleep, because he didn’t bother getting him dressed. He didn’t feel like explaining why they’d just up and taken a bath together, either. 

As soon as Ellis was settled in the bed he dried him off. As hard as it was to keep his eyes to himself- which he didn’t, honestly- it was even harder to push away the desire to leave him exposed, to just sit there and stare at that honestly perfectly toned body. 

It’d be bad for his health, he reasoned with himself, sliding his underwear on and looking for maybe a second too long at the scar along his leg. He’d have to ask about it at some point, to soothe his own curiosity over where he got such a nasty looking injury.

The storm was carrying in a cold front, it seemed, so Nick pulled the blanket over him as well.

Instead of climbing under it with him, he laid across from him over the bedding, thinking about how he’d felt pressed into his chest in the tub. There was a small moment of surprise, right as Ellis fell against him. Nick almost let him go.

He wasn’t sure why he didn’t. At this point, after spending nearly an hour holding a very naked man and not feeling even slightly disgusted, he couldn’t deny that there was something growing between them. 

Nick knew he wanted to protect him, and he knew that he didn’t like other hands on him. Is that all it was, though? 

_How can you dislike other people touching him when_ you _don’t even touch him, Nick?_

That thought was followed up quickly with several memories of times he could remember touching Ellis and purposefully avoiding everyone else, memories of Ellis’ small but strong hands, callous palms wrapping around the pistol he’d given him. 

There was also the memory of Ellis’ head buried in his chest, of their bodies flush together in the car. So maybe he _did_ have a tendency to let his hands wander… 

It hadn’t bothered Ellis. The touching or the shower, actually. He’d been completely relaxed.

_Maybe he was just being polite. Too nice for his own good, you know that._

This thought, though, made him unreasonably angry. Ellis wasn’t just pacifying him, he’d know if that were the case. Lying was one of his specialities, and reading people was another. 

Reaching out, he pushed damp hair off Ellis’ face and sighed. No. Not just being polite. What then? 

Questions unlikely to be answered, Nick shut his eyes and rolled to his side to face him. They’d catch a few more hours, hopefully.

* * *

Coach had been woken up by the heavy sound of thunder. It was followed up by low voices and he spent who knows how long trying to shake off the fuzz in his brain to comprehend what was going on. 

He pushed himself up with one arm and looked around. Empty room, surrounded by empty noise. The rain wasn’t letting up tonight either. 

Just faintly he heard the talking again, identifying one voice as Ellis. 

There was another voice, the sound of footsteps past his door. Coach wasn’t all too sure who he was talking to, but he relaxed considerably. With a tired sigh, he went back to sleep.

_Maybe Ellis sleepwalks._

The next time Coach woke up, it was to the sensation of something hitting his face. At first he wrote it off as a fly or twitch. It was only after feeling coldness moving down his face that he jerked upright.

The bed around him was soaked and the ceiling was leaking terribly. Just faintly he heard the sound of thumping. Above him. Coach lunged out of bed, legs tangled in blankets and arms numb from the cold. 

“Ro! Ellis, Nick,” he called quietly, going to the sitting room first where Ro had gone to sleep. She sat off the couch, alarmed and grabbing her axe from the floor.

“Wha-” 

“Infected,” he whispered, running to check the door. It was still locked, obviously, and there was no sign that anything had tried breaking in. Coach moved the cabinet from the wall in front of the door just to be safe.

“What’s going on out here,” Nick asked drowsily. He gave the cabinet one last shove before turning to face him. Nick was shirtless and looked like he’d gotten up as fast as Coach.

“There’s god damn infected upstairs! I thought we cleared that floor.” Ellis appeared behind Nick holding his bat.

“We did, Coach,” Ellis assured him, heading towards the door. Coach stopped him, pointing at the ceiling with a small shush. 

They listened, everyone glancing around uncertainty. There was nothing at first, just the sounds of rain and wind. Ellis was the first to straighten, straining closer to the hall. Walking, right there. 

Nick’s hand went for his gun but there was nothing there, his harness apparently left in his room.

“We’ll have to go up there and clear them out or someone will have to keep watch,” Ro said, standing up and setting her axe down. She checked the boards over the window, patting them when they held. 

“We won’t be able to see,” Ellis said, and Coach noted that all of the light was coming from one of the two lanterns they’d set up. It was definitely day by now, but the sun was blocked out by clouds and the smoke clouds still. 

“Well, we’ll just have to hold ‘n here until it's safer outside, then,” he said, sitting down with a huff. Ro sat down with him, hand hovering over his arm in worry. “I’m fine. Feels better today.”

“The bath works, if you two want to wash up,” Ellis offered, and it was only then that he noticed the boy’s hair was fluffier than before. In fact, both of them looked much cleaner than they ought to.

_He must have told Nick right after he found out._

“Well shit, how about that? Maybe later, though.” Coach was more interested in finding a new shirt, maybe even pants. The giant hole burned in his current one was beginning to tear and it was getting cold.

“Speak for yourself, I’m filthy,” Ro joked, stepping over her axe to head for the bathroom. “If the infected break in while I’m in there, though, I’m not gonna be too happy.”

“I’ll stay out here and keep watch,” Coach assured her. Ellis looked like he was going to volunteer to stay too but Nick caught his arm and hauled him back to their room with a yawn. Coach snorted, giving Ro a pointed look.

At some point they were going to have to make a bet on just what was considered too personal for those two. Sleeping in the same bed shirtless clearly wasn’t.

* * *

Ellis and Nick came back out fully dressed, and both looked a little tired. They all spent most of the day in very tense waiting once Ro emerged from the bathroom clean and looking both anxious and relaxed. She managed to convince Coach he really should wash his wounds. He agreed, but only because Ellis had gone through the closets in the apartment and found a few shirts for him. 

The water was warmer than he expected, but never got hot. After washing quickly and gingerly cleaning his burns, the water had grown quite filthy, but he _did_ feel better.

_This is the most normal you’ve felt in a long time. Feels like the world isn’t dying outside._

They weren’t really sure how to pass the time while the storm raged, but they all managed to find something to do. Coach wasn’t very productive, but how could he be, there was nothing to help with. Just passing the time.

Nick spent a large part of the day staring into nothing and resting his hand on various parts of Ellis' body. Several times Coach had looked up to find Ellis doing something, counting bullets, folding clothes to put in his bag, even laying on the floor and eating half a bag of corn flakes. Nick was never far away, and always touching him in some way.

Which wasn’t exactly new, but the look in his eyes was. It was like he’d just learned something big, something groundbreaking. He looked at Ellis as if he held Nick’s next breath in his hands. Every now and then he’d look away, get this distant, far away look in his eyes, only to snap back and realize Ellis had moved to a different part of the room. He would gravitate after him with ease.

Ro didn’t so much as blink, so neither did Coach. The two of them were somehow closer, if possible.

_A lot closer._

It wasn't a big deal.

* * *

Ellis didn’t even notice when night fell, the brief moments of light in the window stopping altogether

“Alright, I’m exhausted,” Ro stated, standing up and brushing cracker crumbs off her jeans. They’d found them going stale in the cabinets and enjoyed them for dinner. Ellis looked down at himself and realized he was covered in little bits too. “You boys ready to take watch tonight?”

“Why don’t you take the bedroom,” Coach offered, reclining back on the couch. He looked so relaxed, Ellis didn’t realize until Ro was gone and Coach was snoring that the only two left awake were him and Nick.

“Guess I’ll be keeping watch,” he said, leaning back against the wall and hoping he wouldn’t get tired halfway through the night.

Watching over everyone was a serious responsibility. One that Elis wasn’t going to take lightly after messing up so horribly with the hospital. He’d prove he could keep everyone safe, even Nick.

Nick, who looked like he was going to stay up. 

“Uh… Nick?” Joining him on the floor, he grabbed Ellis’ hand and turned it over, putting the half empty bottle of soda in his hand. As touching as that was, and it was _very_ touching, he tried to hand it back. “Come on, man, I can’t take this! We rationed it fair and square, you should drink it.”

“Shut up and take it, El,” he said sternly, leaning back against the wall and shutting his eyes. “If I fall asleep, wake me up.”

They sat quietly, Ellis whispering every now and then to Nick about the storm, about the possible infected upstairs. A few times he caught himself rambling about the cat he had growing up and how it was a real mean thing but he loved it all the same. It was a mostly one sided conversation.

Nick, of course, did fall asleep. Very quickly, in fact. Ellis didn’t wake him up, though, on account of him looking downright knocked out. Instead he sat quietly, thoughts weaving between the dream he’d had last night- something to do with zombies on a rollercoaster- and the bath he’d taken with Nick. 

The bath he’d been carried out of, apparently. It made his face burn to even think about that, but Nick had carried him so many times by now that he was starting to get used to the idea of it. Of course, he was always unconscious in some way.

He wondered what it’d be like if he were awake. Had he been asleep for a while before Nick took him to bed. 

_Not that Nick took you to bed! Not like that!_

He’d simply helped a friend out, washed his hair, put him in bed, that’s all! Ellis would definitely do the same in return! It’s just… He found himself picturing it. Picturing Nick holding his body, washing it. Carrying him gently back to the bedroom and wrapping him in that cozy blanket.

Ellis was picturing Nick’s hands, and then the floorboards creaked. All at once he was sitting upright, gun pointed at the door. There was nothing, no sounds from the hallway, and at first he thought he’d simply heard something. 

Then, he heard the sound of footsteps, this time from underneath them. 

Ellis looked back to Nick, fighting himself on what he should do. They all needed their rest. Nick especially after the hard few days they’d had. 

Sliding away, Ellis held his gun close and quietly set out to find what the noise was. He’d call for help if need be, but surely he could handle whatever was skulking around. 

* * *

Nick knew two things upon waking up from a nightmare. The first was that he had certainly not meant to fall asleep, and the second was that he was cold. Based on these two thoughts, he managed to piece together that Ellis was no longer next to him, and had actively chosen not to wake him after seeing he’d passed out.

Looking around, he found the light easily and could hear Coach’s snoring from the couch. Ellis, on the other hand...

“Fuck,” he whispered, shooting up. Ellis and his gun were gone, but his pack was still on the floor. “ _God damn it, Ellis._ ”

The door had been opened. Nick looked back at the hall once before following Ellis' obvious exit. He didn’t _want_ to leave them unguarded and with the door unlocked, but he couldn’t very well waste time waking them up.

_Why the fuck did he go out? Does he have a fucking death wish? NIck, you really know how to pick em’ don’t you?_

He expected to hear something, anything, that would help lead him to Ellis, but the sound of infected upstairs had disappeared. There was creaking below, though. Like someone trying to run quietly. Nick ran, too, not even caring what he might wake up.

There were no infected in the halls, or on the stairs. He followed the noise all the way to the second floor, where it stopped. No more running, but he heard what sounded like something crashing to the floor.

The noise was coming from inside the restaurant on the first floor. Nick looked down and found drag marks, wet footprints. Never a good sign. Pushing the door open he had to skid to a stop on the wet floor and take a half second to process what was in front of him.

A foot away, there was the mutilated body of a woman, blood still seeping out onto the floor. Her stomach was torn open. In the center of the room Ellis was pinned to the floor, thrashing wildly under what looked like a normal, or at least living, person. That was something he didn’t have to process.

Human or not, Nick hit them hard, tackling them to the floor and freeing Ellis. The inhuman whine the man made as he shoved him away mid roll made his spine chill.

“Stay the fuck back,” he growled, throwing an arm out when Ellis sat up, coughing and- and crying… Nick threw a quick glance over his shoulder, having to quell his fear at the soft sound of sobbing coming from his friend.

The crazed man scuttled back to the corpse on the floor, digging his blade out of her stomach and spitting like a diseased animal. Nick felt, when those dead eyes turned on him, afraid. He couldn’t let that knife near Ellis, though.

The brief distraction of Ellis crying had given the man the chance to arm himself and come barreling towards them, but Nick managed a swift kick that sent him to the ground, knife clattering. He was up fast, growling and spitting at Nick. A bottle flew through the air, then, and smashed against his face. Nick looked back wildly at Ellis, who was still sitting on the floor, arm sinking to the floor.

Taking the moment of distraction, he dove for the knife. The other man had the same idea and they had to wrestle for it, Nick using his shoulder to knock back the worst of the attacks. The knife went flying, sliding across the floor loudly. Before he could push the attacker away the smell of death hit him so strongly he almost gagged, getting knocked on his ass by the next charge.

“Nick!” Ellis was shakily trying to get to his knees, to help in some way, and the attacker knew he was the weaker target. Charging past Nick, he pounced on Ellis once more, hands back at his throat and teeth clicking together as he struggled against the hands holding him at bay. 

He was trying to _bite_ him. Nick looked around, spotting the knife he’d knocked to the ground. Desperately crawling and kicking for it, he shot up once his hand was closed around the hilt. He didn’t want to risk hurting Ellis, so he grabbed the- the infected man, whatever he was, and dragged him back, throwing him on the floor. When the knife came down, it was pointed right at his throat where it pierced the thrashing man on the floor.

He yanked it free and kept his foot firmly on the man’s chest until he stopped moving. Silence overtook the room. It was broken by the sound of dripping, which pulled him out of the buzz of his thoughts and back into reality.

The knife in his hand fell to his side, forgotten almost instantly as he turned in search of Ellis. He found him on the floor, cowering against the wall under one of the booths. He was hiding his face.

“El! El, hey, it’s okay now,” he assured him, throwing the knife down and running back to him. He approached him carefully, slowly, as if any movement too fast might send him spiraling. From the looks of it he already was. 

Ellis was staring down at his fingers, bloody and slick, watching them shake. Nick took ahold of them, hiding the blood and stopping the trembling. The burn on his arm, faded now, was smeared in blood, too. Filthy.  
“Ellis?” He looked up, shock not exactly leaving but it was enough for Nick to know he at least was making sense of the situation.

“He was eating her,” he whispered, eyes flicking to the corpse. He moved to block the view. “She didn’t even look infected, but he killed her _and_ -” Ellis’ voice broke pitifully, horror returning to his face.

“Shh, I know El.” Though he was still shaking, Nick managed to pull him out from under the table, guiding him into the booth to look over him. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

“She’s been following us I think. I heard her sneaking around. She tried to run but he must have- God, Nick, he must have been hunting _her_.” Nick sighed, turning his arms over and checking Ellis himself for injury. The shock hadn’t warned off yet and he let him, still looking dazed. Or rather, traumatized. 

Turning him around for good measure, he found no marks, nothing so much as a scrape. His arms were fine, bruises might form later but he was okay. Nick caught the briefest glimpse of red, then, and straightened his shirt out, finding it soaked.

“Did he do this,” he asked, panic setting in as he started lifting the shirt in horrified anticipation. There weren't any life threatening stabs or bullet holes, and Nick relaxed a bit. Ellis glanced down, seeming to realize for himself that he was so bloody with a frown.

“I think that’s his blood. Got him with his blade.” Said blade was laying very near them, and Ellis looked down at it, frowning. Nick, in a sudden flare of anger, kicked it, sending it across the floor with a metal screech. He turned back to Ellis, cupping his face gently. 

“So you aren’t hurt? At all?” Without realizing it, he’d been leaning close, and caught himself about to lunge forward and press his lips against Ellis’ in a moment of raw need. He stopped, a breath away from the kiss. Ellis seemed to snap out of his daze, then, and noticed what was going on. He looked up at Nick, trying and failing not to glance at his lips twice. 

“What’s going on?” Nick shot up, shoving Ellis back. Coach and Ro were standing in the door of the breakfast center, looking between the two bodies and them in shock.

“What the hell happened,” Coach asked, stepping over the unfortunate woman to get to them. Ro ran to see Ellis, who was starting to shake again. Nick helped him up, brushing past the memory of his lips, parting at the thought of being kissed, and shook his head.

“Another psycho happened,” he snapped, slapping Ro’s hands away when Ellis flinched under them. “Don’t.”

"Is he hurt?” Coach was holding Ellis’s gun, which Nick must have overlooked running in. He took it and shoved it in his own empty holster

“I don’t know.” Walking right past them, he slipped his other arm behind Ellis’ knees and swung him up into his arms, huffing quietly. 

Ellis simply stared at the ceiling, face unreadable. Nick wasn’t even thinking about the kiss anymore.


	13. Chapter 13

Ro stayed back and held Coach behind as Nick carried Ellis back upstairs, running a tired hand through her hair. This was not at all okay. Nothing about this was okay.

“I know we’ve only known each other a short while, but I think some general rules would be nice,” Coach complained, and Ro agreed completely. That, however, was not what she wanted to discuss.

“Look at this,” she exclaimed, squatting down beside the poor deceased woman. Her eyes were wide open, morbidly displayed a level of terror and fear Ro had been having nightmares about lately.

“She’s got bits torn off her.” Ro nodded, standing back up and desperately wishing to forget all of this. The other corpse was less morbid. Blood splattered the ceiling above it, though, in a violent way that scared her almost more.

_Nick did that, didn’t he? He did that because Ellis was in danger. That makes two now, doesn’t it?_

Rather than waste time wondering what lengths that man would go to, she decided to investigate a bit more.

As she leaned down to get a closer look, nostrils burning before she covered her face, she realized something else concerning.

“But he doesn’t look infected!” Coach came closer, shining the light he’d grabbed at the body. It’s true that while it’s skin was pale and ashy like the infected, it was also all there. The eyes, one swollen shut, weren’t quite like the other infected either. 

“Maybe he just turned?” Even he didn’t look convinced by his words. He stood straight, putting the light away to grab her hand and guide her around the body. “Lets head back, we’ll figure all this out tomorrow.” 

“Why don’t all of them turn,” she asked, letting him lead her but continuing to piece together this obvious mystery. Coach sighed, opening the door to the hall for her.

It didn’t make any sense. The man at the gun store had been crazed, but he could speak, could hold a gun and had at least planned far enough to grab Ellis. Ellis, who happened to have most of their supplies on him.

So, smart then. Frail and crazy, but smart. 

“Maybe they were already like that,” he supplied, clearly hoping to dissuade her from this line of thought. They _did_ still have to sleep a few floors above that mess.

_Maybe some of them are more resistant? Clearly you are, clearly Ellis is._

“But they _look_ infected! That man had pieces of that poor woman in his teeth, Coach!” He shivered, glancing around them at the dark. The stairs were quiet, meaning Nick made good time getting up them. 

“I don’t know, Ro, honest! I’m just- I’m sure tired… Maybe we’ll try and look into it, maybe it was just a random coincidence, I just don’t know.” Sensing his tension, Ro grew quiet. She could practically see the exhaustion on his face. Ever since the hospital he’d looked like that.

She’d been counting on CEDA being there, was so adamant about it, so heartbroken over it, she hadn’t paused to consider how it was affecting Coach. 

“I’m sorry.” Confused, he pulled her close as they turned the corner onto the third floor. 

“About what, baby girl?” She snorted, wrapping her arm around him as well.

“It’s just been hard for us all, you know? I keep forgetting that, somehow.” The entire world screeching to a halt as a way of making you lose sight of the things you still have, the things other people have.

“Aw, Ro girl it’s fine! Look, we all have been going through it, and if figuring stuff out is how you cope, then… well, I can think of worse ways to handle all this.” She laughed softly, looking down at her own feet as they walked. A thought popped into her head, watching the patterns on the floor fade behind them.

“What if,” she started, stopping herself because she wasn’t quite certain either of them were awake enough for this possibility. “What if they _are_ infected? What if they’re just a special type of infected, like the boomers or hunters?”

“Well, I guess we’ll be running into even more of these freaks, then,” Coach answered grimly. “Let’s hope they aren’t, okay?”

* * *

Ellis didn’t stop shaking, even when they were locked in the bathroom again. His hands were curled against his chest, blood starting to dry under his nails and on his fingers. The way he was sitting it was obvious he was protecting himself.

Nick had to pull his shirt off carefully, holding one of his arms out to slide it off him. Underneath was a mess. The blood had seeped through onto his skin, but he didn’t look hurt. 

_Well, he didn’t look sick or dying, at least._

“Come on, I’ll wash this off.” There was no response. It was like Ellis had retreated so far into his own thoughts he didn’t even notice what was going on. That would prove a problem if he didn’t snap out of it soon.

_He just saw some real fucked up shit, Nick. Real fucked up… First zombies, now cannibals? Give him a minute, let him process._

Speaking of cannibals, Nick tilted Ellis’ chin up to get a look at his neck. It was a little red, might even end up bruising, but there were no bite marks.

“You’ve gotta say something, man. Tell me you’re okay, tell me if you’re not. Hell, tell me more about Keith.” A twitch then, and he glanced up at Nick slowly. “Would you like to do that? Talk about Keith?”

“I- I’m good. I’m okay, Nick,” he said, sounding mostly lost. Nick sighed, about to throw his shirt at the sink when he reconsidered. Using it as a sponge, he soaked under the faucet and turned back to Ellis, sitting with his legs tucked close to his chest on the toilet. 

“Here, lemme see.” He managed to lean him back enough to swipe at the blood and clean him off. Every mark he erased was a weight lifted off his own shoulders, a small assurance that Ellis was at least not injured again.

Until he went to clean a spot off and he winced. Nick froze, shirt bunched up over the red line on his side. He lifted it carefully, realizing a small trickle of blood was forming at the base of it. Deep. It looked deep. 

“Ellis, this-” _this_ was manageable, he forced himself to believe. “This needs to be kept clean and covered.”

_Don’t scare him. This may look kinda bad, but you’ve fixed up worse and Ellis has surely seen worse on that idiot friend of his._

Nick wrung the shirt out over the sink quickly. When he turned back, Ellis was starting to stand up.

“Hey, hey, hey! Easy,” he caught him as he started sinking back down, making sure he didn’t miss the seat. “Don’t try to stand yet, alright? Stay as still as possible.” 

“Mhm,” Ellis answered, head falling back against the wall. He seemed impossibly tired, but at least he wasn’t trying to walk away. 

Nick didn’t want to risk leaving to sort through their temporary bedroom for the medkits- he wasn’t sure they’d help much- so instead he opted for tearing one of the sleeves off Ellis’ overalls. It wasn’t easy, took a lot of sawing with a pocket knife he found in one of the various pockets of his pants as he patted them down. 

He was going to rip the shirt up, too, but something about it seemed sacred to Ellis. He set it down and examined the long sleeve. It would have to do for now.

* * *

Once more, Ellis was shirtless and vulnerable before him. Nick couldn’t be bothered to notice the well toned skin and defined muscles this time, though. Not when his eyes were trailing after every tremor, every twitch or sign of pain. 

In the end, he dug up a shirt for him to wear while his bloodsoaked one dried. It was still cold, afterall. 

After helping Ellis back to the soft bedroom that smelled faintly of perfume and christmas decorations, Nick noticed the closet was open. They’d looked through it previously, but it was mostly very old clothes in poor condition.

He closed it very quietly, now. The dark space in the already shadowy room just wasn’t what he needed.

Ellis was sinking into the bed when he turned around. His eyes were still open, though, and staring into the wall with an odd determination.

“Does it hurt?” He didn’t get an answer. Not really. Ellis’ jaw was locked and his hands were shaking, though. That was answer enough, for him.

He moved carefully to the other side of the bed, arranging a comfortable support of pillows should he decide to actually lay back. Nick figured they’d have to talk, first.

“You scared me back there, El.” It was impossible to miss the small flinch. “I woke up and you were missing.”

“Sorry,” said with no anger, but no guilt either. Nick’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. 

“You know the whole point of keeping watch is to wake us all up if you hear or see something, right? Not to run off and deal with it yourself.” Ellis looked like he was going to say something, going as far as looking back at Nick, but he instead shook his head and looked back at the wall. Pity? Shame? Residual fear? What had him so quiet?

Nick put his arm around his shoulder, thinking that the small amount of contact might at least ground him, but it did the opposite. Ellis shot up, stumbling a few feet and spinning to face him with a new energy.

“What the fuck is your problem? Sit back down, you’re gonna hurt yourself,” he commanded, beyond confused now. Ellis, shifting his weight uncomfortably, finally spoke.

“I’m sorry.” He _did_ sound guilty this time. There was no way in hell Nick was going to ignore that outburst, though.

“You’re not scared of me, are you?” Not once, not for a single moment, had Ellis been afraid of him, and it wasn’t for want of trying on Nick’s part. He’d yelled, he’d critiqued, he’d done the absolute most within the first five days of knowing the hick to try and set him in his place.

“You’re not really all that scary, Nick,” he said with a small smile. Okay, so they’re talking now. That’s good. That works.

_If he stays talking, that is._

“Then why are you standing all the way over there? Sit back down, you idiot.” Where was all the tension in the room coming from? Unlike the night before, the room was cold and heavy and making Nick frown. Ellis did return to the bed, at least. He eased into the pillows set up for him, relaxing almost mechanically.

“I’m sorry. For freaking out, and for leaving without waking you up.” Genuine as ever.

_Why won’t he look you in the eyes? What is he trying to avoid?_

And then, like a strike of lightning in a clear blue sky, it hit him. The adrenaline was fading, the shock was wearing off. Ellis was thinking about the very near kiss they almost shared. 

“You’re okay, that’s all that matters for now.” Nick didn’t even know what to do about this. It had been entirely impulsive, an automatic response to the victory of coming out alive and unharmed, of seeing Ellis’s big eyes looking up at him.

He’d thought about kissing him a number of times now, hadn’t he? Look where trying got him.

“Ellis, I need you to know that what happened back there… that was just me being an asshole, alright? I was wo- I wanted to make sure you were okay, I wasn’t really thinking about anything else.” Not about Ellis’ lips, or his small breaths, or the way he’d leaned up as if he would have welcomed just one little-

“I shouldn’t have gone in for a kiss like that,” Ellis spit out, wrapping his arms around himself protectively. 

Every cell in Nick’s brain short circuited. 

“What?”

 _What did he say? He shouldn’t have what? You must have misheard! There is no way he just admitted he was about to kiss you back, Nick! You’re lucky, you’ve always been lucky, but not_ that _lucky._

“Its just that you’d just rescued me again and you looked really cool, y’know? So I wasn’t really thinking, and you were sitting so close and by the time I even realized I was about to do it you’d noticed already!” Ellis was rambling about as fast as Nick’s own inner thoughts. It made it difficult to slow down and assess this situation properly.

“Are you telling me you wanted to kiss me,” he asked, just for the clarification. “Because it felt a lot more like I was the one leaning in.”

“No, that was all me, promise! You’re just so good at getting me confused and twisted up inside, Nick, but if I made you uncomfortable back there n’ I just want you to know I won’t ever overstep my boundaries like that again.” Now Nick’s thoughts were really racing. He needed to backtrack, somehow Ellis had missed the part where he admitted to doing the same thing.

“It didn’t make me uncomfortable, El. Look, like I said I’m pretty sure I was the one about to kiss you, alright? Make sure your head is screwed on right, you must be remembering wrong.” How had this turned into an argument? Was this an argument?

_He wanted to kiss you? Why are you even still talking? You should just jump in right now and do it!_

Something soft touched his lips, then, and Nick jerked back, shocked. Ellis flopped back down into the pillows, a pleasant smile on his face. Completely at ease, despite what he'd just done.

“Well I went for it that time, then. Goodnight, Nick.” Nick managed to find his train of thought, shut his mouth which had slipped open in surprise, and glared at the innocent looking man. 

"Absolutely not!" He towered over him, taking away from this experience that he'd just been one upped by the most left footed southern disaster he'd ever met. He grabbed Ellis' chin, turned him forward, and kissed him the right way. 

Lips parted, tongue curiously holding back, teeth nipping at those soft lips that had escaped just a moment before. Nick Kissed Ellis with as much passion as a man who'd never felt more than attraction. He kissed Ellis like a man who had never tasted water, desperately, greedily. 

The small breaths Ellis was taking through his nose, trying to keep up with Nick's movements, made him that much more interested, more magnetized. His hand released Ellis' chin and slipped up to cup the back of his head, fingers splayed out in his curly hair while he taught him what a real kiss looked like. 

When he broke away- only because he was getting a bit too excited- gently biting Ellis' bottom lip before releasing him, he was satisfied that he'd not been shown up even though he'd been beaten to the first kiss.

It was only after laying down and _hmphing_ triumphantly that he realized Ellis was silent, still. He glanced sideways at him, finding him open mouthed and wide eyed, hands twisted in the pillows beside him.

Oh.


End file.
